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Make Some Noise with Andrea Owen

Episode 208: My life had become unmanageable

Make Some Noise with Andrea Owen

Andrea Owen

How To, Education, Self-improvement

4.7517 Ratings

🗓️ 15 February 2018

⏱️ 13 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

I know many of you who listen to this podcast are sober in recovery, some of you are thinking about it, and many of you are normal drinkers or even non drinkers who don’t have a problem with alcohol. What I’m about to talk about is based on a saying from the “rooms of recovery”, but does not mean it only applies to us alcoholics. I believe it can apply to everyone. I want to talk about the term “my life had become unmanageable” and it comes from the first of twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable. And to be honest, I always had a problem with the whole “life had become unmanageable” part because mine hadn’t. I had a great job I loved, a good marriage, two great kids, friends, and life was pretty good. Someone explained to me that it was my spirituality that had become unmanageable and that didn’t seem right either. I mean, sure, I had moved away from spirituality when I was drinking, but still. It was also explained to me that it was that my “insides” had become unmanageable, not my “outsides”. And since I had had the emotional shit kicked out of me in 2006, I for sure knew what it felt like to have my “insides” unmanageable. I felt like I had healed a good deal from that time in my life and didn’t feel as “unmanageable” when I got sober five years later as I had back then. In terms of being in recovery, not being able to “fit” into that, made me feel like my bottom wasn’t low enough and maybe I DID need to wait until my life was unmanageable to get sober-- my insides AND my outsides. (And that’s not a good place to be in terms of our thinking when we are newly sober!) I continued to ask people about this, people tried to explain it to me in their own way, and it never seemed to feel like it applied to my life. Until… I had a few years of sobriety and I realized how shit my boundaries were. And in the first couple years I realized how emotionally illiterate I was and that I had a lot to learn in terms of communication. “Ohhh, so it’s my relationships, emotions and boundaries that had become unmanageable.” I realized. I finally understood what it meant in my life. And again, you don’t have to be alcoholic, or a love addict, or an anything addict to have all that feel unmanageable. Feelings and emotions are crazy-tough sometimes and numbing out becomes easier. Boundaries seem impossible so people-pleasing and blaming become your go-to. Communication? No one taught us, so we don’t fight fair, we don’t own our stuff, and tend to be passive aggressive. Read the rest HERE http://yourkickasslife.com/208   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:29.8

This is your kick-ass life podcast, episode number 208.

0:35.0

And here's your host, the girl who serves it up straight with a side of crazy.

0:39.9

Andrea Owen.

0:42.8

Ask Kickers, welcome to another episode of The Daily Diaries.

0:46.4

This month I am giving you weekday podcast episodes along with accompanying emails.

0:52.7

And I have been enjoying it a lot. I really hope that you are too.

0:58.9

We started on episode 200. And if you're just joining us, it might be a little bit easier and

1:04.1

make more sense if you started at episode 200. I'm telling stories from my book tour.

1:10.0

And this week, they're a little bit more

1:11.8

random stories throughout my life that I have grabbed onto. And I'm telling you in order to

1:18.1

teach some life lessons. Y'all, I'm really excited about next week. Next week's posts and

1:25.3

podcast episodes are a little bit angry.

1:29.8

Not at anyone in particular, but I guess I'll just have to let you...

1:33.3

I'm not going to say anything else.

1:34.2

I'm just going to leave you all in suspense.

1:36.7

And starting on Monday, they are going to be five more episodes.

...

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