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The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

Episode 208: Misogyny in Motherhood and Marriage with Zawn Villines

The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

Kate Anthony

Self-improvement, Education, Society & Culture, Relationships

4.4574 Ratings

🗓️ 16 March 2023

⏱️ 60 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

65-75% of women say they would get divorced if they could, but the fear of post-separation abuse and the court system often prevent them from leaving unequal relationships. And quite frankly, women are fed up, and we have every right to be. Zawn Villines, a feminist activist and writer, joins me for a conversation about misogyny in motherhood and marriage; and how to start advocating for yourself and the women around you. Through her work, Zawn argues that mothers are central to the feminist project and that fathers must participate equally in household and parenting labor. She believes that inequality in marriage is a primary driver of sexism and limits women's lives and futures.

In this episode, Zawn and I talk about the division of labor in a marriage, how to communicate openly about creating a shared partnership early on in your relationship, and what to do if you are in a marriage where your partner isn't participating in parenting and other responsibilities equally. I am such a fan of Zawn's work, and in fact, I share it all the time. I am thrilled to have her on the show!

Featured topics include:

  • Zawn describes her background as a feminist and how she came to focus on issues of inequality in marriage and motherhood (1:42)
  • If you are going to be in a long-term relationship with someone, it should be passionate, romantic, full of love, and also a real partnership (5:02)
  • Zawn describes her viral Facebook post about men not contributing enough in heterosexual relationships and the response she received from it (10:17)
  • Why it is imperative we create parenting standards that apply to both parents (25:37)
  • A bad husband who abuses his partner is not a good dad, plain and simple (26:33)
  • Productive conversations about household labor involve acknowledging it is work and stepping up when necessary (37:28)
  • Marriage shouldn't feel exhausting from putting in too much work; it should be a happy, fulfilling partnership (43:43)

Learn more about Zawn Villines:

Zawn Villines is a feminist activist and writer who focuses on misogyny in motherhood and marriage. Her work argues that mothers are central to the feminist project, and that fathers must participate equally in household and parenting labor. She believes that inequality in marriage is a primary driver of sexism, and that it limits women's lives and futures. Inequality at home is a form of abuse, and Zawn teaches women to push back on this unacceptable treatment and claim their rightful place in the family, at work, and in their communities.

Her weekly Feminist Advice Friday series advises people about how to live better and more just lives and how to use their relationships as pathways to liberation and joy.

Outside of her activism, Zawn has written full-time about science, medicine, politics, and the law for two decades. She writes a weekly reproductive justice column and runs a nonprofit childbirth justice organization.

She hopes to see more mothers claim the power and dignity of motherhood and end notions of mothers as irrelevant. Mothers are raising the next generation of resistance.

Resources & Links:

Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-208-misogyny-in-motherhood-and-marriage-with-zawn-villines/

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TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:
THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM

 
An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all.  In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you'll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go?
 

DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go.

0:17.8

I'm Kate Anthony, your divorce survival guide, and I'm here to help you navigate some of

0:23.3

the roughest waters you've ever swum in and answer some of your toughest questions. I've been to

0:29.1

hell and back, and now it's my mission in life to help you get to the other side of this process

0:35.1

with your sanity and your heart intact.

0:44.4

Hey everyone. Okay. This week's episode is like a total fucking fan girl episode for me.

0:53.2

I have been following Zon Villains for, I don't even know how long.

1:00.3

She posted a viral Facebook post years ago that Facebook, I think, she said, took it down.

1:09.1

I share her work all the time. I share her work in my Facebook group. I share her work all the time.

1:11.3

I share her work in my Facebook group.

1:13.6

We talk about her all the time.

1:15.1

I absolutely adore her.

1:17.3

And she is my guess this week.

1:20.7

Totally mind-blowing for me.

1:22.8

For those who don't know,

1:23.7

Zahn is a feminist, activist, and writer

1:25.4

who focuses on misogyny in motherhood and marriage.

1:28.8

Her work argues that mothers are central to the feminist project and that fathers must

1:34.2

participate equally in household and parenting labor. She believes that inequality in marriage

1:41.4

is a primary driver of sexism and that it limits women's lives and futures.

1:48.3

And she has the data and the research and the numbers to back it up.

1:55.0

This is a long one, so I want to dive right in.

...

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