meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Pillow Talks

EPISODE 198: Stop Doing THIS If You Want More Sex (Initiation Fixes You Need to Know)

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Health & Fitness, Sexuality

4.82.2K Ratings

🗓️ 6 March 2025

⏱️ 55 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Initiating sex in your relationship should feel exciting, not frustrating—but let’s be real… for most couples, it’s anything but smooth. Whether you're feeling stuck, rejected, or just plain awkward when it comes to getting things started in the bedroom, today’s episode is here to help! We surveyed our audience, and only 17% of people said they’re happy with how initiation is going in their relationship. That means a lot of us are struggling with: 🚨 Feeling like one partner is always initiating while the other never does 🚨 Getting caught off guard and feeling pressured to have sex in the moment 🚨 Waiting until the end of the night, when you're both exhausted 🚨 Using "lazy" or unsexy initiation attempts (boob honks, anyone?) 🚨 Feeling like your partner only flirts when they want something Sound familiar? You’re not alone. In this episode, we’re breaking down the most common mistakes couples make when initiating sex. =============================== 🔑 What You’ll Learn in This Episode: =============================== ✅ The #1 reason why most couples struggle with initiation ✅ Why timing matters just as much as how you initiate ✅ The major mistake that makes sex feel like a pop quiz—and what to do instead ✅ What to say (and what not to say) when initiating sex ✅ How to make your partner feel wanted instead of pressured And of course, we’re sharing our top tool to completely transform the way you initiate—so you and your partner can experience more connection, better intimacy, and yes… way more satisfying sex! ========================== 🔗 Links & Resources: ========================== 👋 Art of Initiation – Get $20 Off Until March 9 → https://buy.vmtherapy.com/art-of-initiation-special?ref=podcast-198&utm_term=podcast-198 📚 Other Resources Mentioned: ✨ Figure out your initiation style—so you and your partner can find what actually works for you → https://free.vmtherapy.com/initiation-style-guide ✨ Foreplay Guides, Ultimate Sex Guide, & More! → https://vmtherapy.com/courses?ref=podcast-198&utm_term=podcast-198 ========================== 📲 Stay Connected with Us! ========================== 💌 Join our email list for exclusive tips & discounts ➡️ https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 📸 Follow us on Instagram for daily relationship inspo ➡️https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander New episodes drop every Thursday! Make sure you’re subscribed so you never miss an episode. And if this episode made you rethink how you and your partner initiate (or if you saw yourself in some of these mistakes 😅), send it to them and start the conversation! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

So lazy initiation is to like, want to do it.

0:04.2

I guess it's been a while.

0:05.6

We probably should.

0:07.0

It's just that like, or you start, you know, you give the like fake back massage.

0:11.0

It just, you know, it feels like zero effort.

0:13.0

There has to be some conversation about what types of situations do feel appropriate for initiation.

0:20.0

What types of situations don't feel appropriate.

0:22.7

This is something that I've been playing around a lot with lately. I think that this is actually

0:26.8

one of the biggest mistakes that couples make is always trying to initiate in the moments

0:32.2

immediately before sex. Like, do you want to have sex with me right now? Yes or no.

0:43.2

Okay. for sex. Like, do you want to have sex with me right now? Yes or no. Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast. We're your host, Vanessa, and Zander

0:48.8

Marin. I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience. And I'm just a regular dude.

0:53.6

We share the ups and downs in our relationship

0:56.0

while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours.

0:59.7

Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date

1:02.0

full of totally doable sex tips,

1:04.3

practical relationship advice,

1:06.2

hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on

1:09.3

behind closed bedroom doors and so much more.

1:12.4

It's the sex education you wish you'd had.

1:16.6

Today we're talking about something that is a big problem in so many relationships,

1:23.6

and that is sexual initiation.

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Vanessa & Xander Marin, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Vanessa & Xander Marin and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.