Episode 192: Protective Parenting with Dr. Christine Cocchiola
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Kate Anthony
4.4 • 574 Ratings
🗓️ 3 November 2022
⏱️ 57 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Dr. Christine Cocchiola returns to the show to talk about coercive control and its impact on children. Dr. Cocchiola's goal, and the goal of this episode, is to help you create a more secure environment for your child. Divorcing an abuser is hard, but while you are going through this really tumultuous time, you can still show your children a path to freedom. Yes, it's hard work. Perhaps it's the hardest work you will ever do, but you can reignite the attachment you have always had with your child and be their saving grace too.
Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is a Coercive Control Advocate, Educator, Researcher & Survivor. She is a full-time college professor teaching social work for the last 20 years in CT and also an adjunct instructor at NYU. Her expertise is in the areas of coercive control and the traumatic experiences of both adult and child victims, developing and presenting workshops on these topics both nationally and internationally.
Show Highlights
- Coercive control is a pattern of behavior and it can be covert or overt. It is when one person wants to retain power and control over another (4:55)
- Coercive control is the foundation of most domestic abuse (5:17)
- If your spouse is abusing you, your child is a victim of abuse too. Children learn how to regulate their behavior to appease an abusive parent. (11:50)
- You have to be actively working to create a strong foundation so your child clearly knows you are the calm and safe parent (27:21)
- Abuse is a choice, and there is no excuse for it (41:26)
- Dr. Cocchiola answers, "Do coercive controllers have the ability to love their children?" (43:44)
Learn more about Christine:
Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is a Coercive Control Advocate, Educator, Researcher & Survivor. She is a full-time college professor teaching social work for the last 20 years in CT and also an adjunct instructor at NYU. Her expertise is in the areas of coercive control and the traumatic experiences of both adult and child victims, developing and presenting workshops on these topics both nationally and internationally. Christine, a Board Member of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, has supported policy codifying coercive control and has a small private practice, primarily serving victims and survivors of coercive control. She is the creator of the Protective Parenting Program, supporting protective mothers on their journey toward healing their children.
Resources & Links:
Information and resources may also be found at:
https://kateanthony.com/podcast/protective-parenting-with-dr-christine-cocchiola
Dr. Cocchiola's website
Dr. Cocchiola on Instagram
Dr. Cocchiola on Facebook
Dr. Cocchiola on Twitter
Dr. Cocchiola on LinkedIn
Dr. Cocchiola's past episode on Coercive Control
The Protective Parenting Program
Surviving the Holidays with Michelle Dempsey-Multack
Co-parenting During the Holidays, During a Pandemic with Michelle Dempsey-Multack
TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:
THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go. |
| 0:17.8 | I'm Kate Anthony, your divorce survival guide, and I'm here to help you navigate some of |
| 0:23.3 | the roughest waters you've ever swum in and answer some of your toughest questions. I've been to |
| 0:29.1 | hell and back, and now it's my mission in life to help you get to the other side of this process |
| 0:35.1 | with your sanity and your heart intact. |
| 0:44.6 | Hey, everyone. Welcome back. Happy November. Oh my goodness. We are moving into holiday season. You know, I have some past podcast episodes that I think you guys should go check out. I have one with Michelle Dempsey, Maltak, about how to handle the holidays and divorce. We'll link them in the show notes. I don't really want to reinvent the wheel |
| 1:11.1 | because I've done a bunch of things on holidays before. So we'll just link to them so that you can |
| 1:18.1 | get pointed to some of the best resources that I have on those. And today I'm bringing back my dear friend, Dr. Christine Coachola. |
| 1:33.3 | She is a coercive control advocate. |
| 1:36.8 | She's an educator, a researcher, and a survivor. |
| 1:40.3 | She's a full-time college professor teaching social work for the last 20 years in Connecticut and also an adjunct instructor at NYU. |
| 1:48.3 | And her expertise is in the areas of coercive control and the traumatic experiences of both adult and child victims. |
| 1:58.5 | She develops and presents workshops on these topics nationally and internationally. |
| 2:04.6 | And today we're actually talking about her program. She's a program right now called the |
| 2:09.1 | protective parenting program. And this is for protective parents navigating parenting a child |
| 2:15.9 | who has been used as a pawn in their divorce or separation |
| 2:20.2 | from an abuser or a coercive controller. And this program is designed to help alleviate your |
| 2:27.9 | own traumatic reactions so that you're better able to respond to your children's behaviors and also create a more secure |
| 2:36.3 | environment for your child. Christine is just one of the smartest experts I know on the topic |
| 2:43.6 | of coercive control, and she is, she's really a genius in this area. |
| 2:55.7 | And, you know, she really says, you are your child saving grace. |
| 3:11.8 | And so it's really important to ignite, reignite, and foster the attachment that you have with your child in order to give them the safe place and the safe landing place that they need while you're going through this really tricky time. So without further ado, |
... |
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