Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

Wow, am I glad to see you?

Because if I were not seeing you,

I would be seeing people who are less attractive, less

smart, less with it, less kind, less generous, less

gracious.

And can we put up with people like that

when we could be around people like you?

No, no, not even a little bit.

So how would you like to continue our dominance

of being awesome in a world of mediocrity?

I think you would.

And let's take it to the next level

with the thing I call the simultaneous sip.

And all you need is a cup or mug or a glass,

a tank or a cell's worth dying,

a canteen jug or a flask, a vessel of any kind.

Fill it with your favorite liquid I like, coffee.

And join me now for the unparalleled pleasure.

It's the dopamine here.

The day it's just going to blow your mind.

...