Episode 167: This is How Your Marriage Ends with Matthew Fray
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Kate Anthony
4.4 • 573 Ratings
🗓️ 12 May 2022
⏱️ 57 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Matthew Fray, author of This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach To Saving Relationships, has been on my guest wishlist for a really long time. That is why I am truly delighted to share our conversation with you. Matt joins me to talk about how men can show up as better partners in relationships.
I first learned about Matt when I read his now-viral blog post, "She Divorced Me Because I Left the Dishes Near the Sink." It's not just about dishes. It never truly is, now is it? Matt shares his experiences with writing that blog post, the lessons he has learned since his divorce, and offers insight on how men can become mindfully aware of their spouses' experiences, share in the division of labor in relationships, and more.
Show Highlights
- How his blog post aims to invite a conversation about what is allowed to matter (5:55)
- In relationships, there is a discrepancy between values, preferences, and things that affect one another (6:44)
- Marriage and the man card in cis-hetero gendered relationships (9:14)
- Matthew describes the invalidation triple threat: aka the ways in which we invalidate people when we disagree with them (17:14)
- Be mindful of the little things we are not paying attention to because they are often the root of relationship issues (23:41)
- We explore four key relationship skills including how to argue or disagree effectively (38:19)
Learn more about Matthew Fray:
Matthew Fray is the author of This Is How Your Marriage Ends A Hopeful Approach To Saving Relationships. With the humorous, entertaining, and counterintuitive approach of "The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F," and the practical insights of "The 5 Love Languages," "This Is How Your Marriage Ends" helps readers identify relationship-killing behavior patterns in their own lives - and offers solutions to break free from the cycles of dysfunction and destruction. Fray is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes he did. His writing has been featured in The New York Times, The Sunday Times, The Huffington Post, Babble, and many more. His blog Must Be This Tall To Ride has a dedicated following and has reached millions of readers.
Resources & Links:
Book a Sanity Saver Session in May or June
Matthew's website
Matthew's new book
Matthew on Twitter
Matthew on Facebook
She Divorced Me Because I Left the Dishes by the Sink
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go. |
| 0:17.8 | I'm Kate Anthony, your divorce survival guide, and I'm here to help you navigate some of |
| 0:23.3 | the roughest waters you've ever swum in and answer some of your toughest questions. I've been to |
| 0:29.1 | hell and back, and now it's my mission in life to help you get to the other side of this process |
| 0:35.1 | with your sanity and your heart intact. |
| 0:42.9 | Hey, everyone. Welcome back. So I'm super excited about today's episode. I have actually, |
| 0:51.5 | Matthew Frey has been on my wish list for podcast guests for a really long time. |
| 0:57.5 | And I was a little bit of a fan girl talking to him today. |
| 1:01.7 | So Matthew Frey came into my sphere when he wrote, back in 2016, I think, he wrote a blog post called, she divorced me because I left the dishes |
| 1:16.9 | by the sink. |
| 1:18.1 | And I think that a lot of you guys have read this because I've shared it a bunch, and I know |
| 1:23.1 | a lot of you have also shared it in my Facebook group. |
| 1:26.0 | And so Matt has just written a book called |
| 1:28.9 | This Is How Your Marriage Ends, a hopeful approach to saving relationships. And it is out now, |
| 1:35.6 | and I think you should all buy it. If you know anything about Matt and you've ever been to his |
| 1:41.7 | blog, which is called Must Be This Tall to Ride, |
| 1:45.9 | you know that his style is irreverent and funny, and he is just an all-around fabulous guy. |
| 1:54.2 | And so I'm super excited to have him on the podcast today. |
| 1:58.0 | But before we get into my interview with Matt, I just want to tell you |
| 2:04.3 | one quick thing, which is normally, I think most of you know, I don't do one-off coaching sessions. |
| 2:12.1 | I have a coaching package. But for the months of May and June, I am actually going to be |
| 2:19.3 | opening up my calendar to one-off coaching sessions. These are, I call them sanity |
... |
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