Thank you. Much of life is unexpected. But there are these moments that don't help us breathe elegantly.

They teach us that we can breathe when our breath is taken away.

And if you don't know my story, I lost my husband.

He completed suicide May 1st, 2021.

And I don't think it's an accident that they call those that are left behind survivors of suicide.

Because that is really what it is.

I feel as though on the day he took his life, he took mine too.

Showing up has been increasingly difficult over the last year because not only is grief nonlinear, but trauma is a fantastic jerk.

And I live as maybe you do with a constant tremor that I never had before.

I don't sleep still a year after. I have nightmares and flashbacks, and it wasn't expected.

But I want to have you believe with me that showing up to your mat even for five minutes,

it will help you let the shakes go. I can't say that I know exactly what you're going through,

but I am a sister in this crisis.

And mental health is nothing to be ashamed of.

Let's come to sitting and bring your hands to your knees and spiral around.

My practice is completely different since his death.

I'm no longer interested in the same peak poses and I still can't close my eyes in

Shavasana. Change directions.

I've navigated a year of losing friends because grief apparently has a timeline,

of shifting relationships with coworkers, and of questioning absolutely everything I do in my life.

Place the right hand behind you and your left hand at the top of the right knee and just spin around.

And the yoga for me has that tremor and I don't know if it's translating to the camera and switch to the other side, but I'm showing up anyway.

...