Episode 152: The Anxiety Beneath Perfectionism—Why Trying Harder Won't Set You Free

The Best of You

That Sounds Fun Network

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

5 • 710 Ratings

🗓️ 7 April 2025

⏱️ 23 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Do you feel constantly driven to get everything right—to be the perfect partner, parent, worker, or friend? On this week's solo episode, Dr. Alison explores the hidden relationship between perfectionism and anxiety, revealing how trying to be perfect is often a disguised way of managing deeper fears. You'll discover: * Why perfectionism is rarely about actually being perfect. * The main ways anxiety cleverly disguises itself. * The surprising question you need to ask yourself when you can’t stop perfecting. * Practical steps to break free from perfectionistic behaviors. Today's episode will give you proven strategies to finally break free from perfectionism. Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 29: Perfectionism and Proving Your Worth: How to Stop Chasing Approval and Start Living the Life You Actually Want Episode 112: Navigating Anxiety—Practical, Compassionate Insights to Recognize and Manage Anxiety Thanks to our sponsors: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit GoGeviti.com to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, download their pdf called "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." I want all my listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night’s sleep with a new mattress from Birch. Go to birchliving.com/bestofyou for 20% off sitewide! Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound design by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everyone, I'm Dr. Allison, and I'm so glad you're here to discover what brings out the best of you.
0:12.0	This podcast is all about breaking free from painful patterns, mending the past and discovering our true selves in God.
0:20.0	I can't wait to get started as we learn
0:21.8	together how to become the best version of who we are with God's help.
0:28.9	Hey everyone and welcome back to this week's episode of the Best of You podcast. Today's episode
0:35.8	is for the part of you that tries really, really hard to get it all
0:42.8	right. You might even say it's trying to get things perfect. Whether it's in your work,
0:50.4	your relationships, your faith, your parenting, or even just in your image, the way you show up
0:57.5	in the world, this part of you is compulsively trying to make things perfect. And here's the twist.
1:05.2	This part of you might look put together on the outside. It might do a pretty good job of keeping things going,
1:12.4	of keeping things looking perfect on the outside. But underneath, these perfecting parts of us
1:19.4	are often driven by anxiety. Now, I've talked about anxiety on the podcast before, but this isn't
1:26.5	your usual take on it.
1:28.2	Today, I want to explore the way anxiety disguises itself, especially through perfectionism.
1:36.3	Not necessarily the loud kind of, here I am, announcing itself perfectionism that you're aware of, but more more the subtle kind, the insidious kind, the kind
1:46.2	that looks like overworking, people-pleasing, or just trying to get everything right. And this is
1:53.2	where my own story comes in. And I've got a long journey, a long history with anxiety. But I began to
1:58.9	realize that the roots of my anxiety story started up far before
2:03.8	I actually had the experience of feeling anxious. So I'm going to tell you a little bit about my
2:08.9	own experience with anxiety and how it disguises itself. And then I'm going to walk you through
2:14.5	what I think is the most important question to ask yourself if you find yourself doing any of these things that masquerades as anxiety.
2:23.1	And then I'm going to offer you a guided reflection that you can do in real time at the end of today's episode.
	...

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