Episode 138: SOLO Episode: Shedding Light on Emotional Abuse
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Kate Anthony
4.4 • 574 Ratings
🗓️ 14 October 2021
⏱️ 33 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
I am back with another solo episode this week. October is domestic violence awareness month, so, I wanted to take this opportunity to talk about a specific type of domestic violence: emotional abuse. Yes, emotional abuse is a form of domestic violence.
Talking about emotional abuse is part of my healing, my personal journey, and my growth. So much of the work that we do in my Facebook group is around helping women identify emotional abuse and come to terms with the fact that that's what's happening to them.
We have to talk about emotional abuse.
We have to talk about it because the more we talk about it, the more we realize we are not alone.
When women talk about abuse and relate to each other's stories, that's when we rise up and say, "Oh, hell no. No fucking more."
Show Highlights
- Owning your victimhood is very important. It is one of the most powerful things you can do. (2:43)
- You are never going to agree with your abuser about the narrative. But you get to have your narrative and you get to own it. (8:39)
- Signs of emotional abuse seen during the traffic stop in the case of Gabby Petito and what the police could have done differently. (11:53)
- Gaslighting creates and distorts your perception of reality. (13:21)
- Emotional abuse can look very different from person to person and relationship to relationship. (20:44)
- Abuse has nothing to do with an abuser's feelings. It's about control and entitlement. (23:52)
- You are not crazy, trust your perceptions! (27:49)
Resources & Links:
For show notes and resources, also visit:
https://kateanthony.com/podcast/shedding-light-on-emotional-abuse/
Divorce Survival Program is here!
Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men, Lundy Bancroft
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go. |
| 0:17.7 | I'm Kate Anthony, your divorce survival guide, and I'm here to help you navigate |
| 0:22.8 | some of the roughest waters you've ever swum in and answer some of your toughest questions. |
| 0:28.5 | I've been to hell and back, and now it's my mission in life to help you get to the other side |
| 0:34.2 | of this process with your sanity and your heart intact. |
| 0:46.9 | Hey everyone. How's it going? Welcome back. So I'm here with another solo episode. I haven't done one in so long and now suddenly it's like back to back. But here we are. So it is, as many of you know, domestic violence awareness month. And as you know, I am a fierce advocate for women in particular who suffer |
| 1:19.1 | emotional abuse. And I talk a lot about emotional abuse on my podcast here, this right here, this is the podcast, and on Instagram and social media, |
| 1:33.4 | and most of my clients are suffering from some form of emotional abuse. And it's something that, first of all, the most important thing that you need to know |
| 1:48.2 | is that emotional abuse is a form of domestic violence. It is not something different. The National |
| 1:58.7 | Center for Domestic Violence, the, you know, the hotline, if you go to the hotline.org and you scroll through like what is abuse. |
| 2:06.9 | They've got an incredible website, by the way. |
| 2:09.7 | Emotional abuse is a form of domestic violence. |
| 2:15.9 | And I got to tell you, it's taken me years to come to terms with and |
| 2:25.9 | accept the fact that that's, that I am a victim of domestic violence, right? Like, it sounds so, God, it sounds so dramatic. |
| 2:40.0 | And, like, no, no, no, no, no, no. It was just emotionally abused. I just had this, like, |
| 2:44.8 | coercive, controlling, um, manipulative, you know, all, all of those things, right? But it wasn't like, it wasn't domestic violence. |
| 2:53.2 | And I still have trouble sort of making that correlation for myself. And but that's the point, |
| 3:04.0 | right? It's the othering that we do. It's like no no no it's not me like no no no no |
| 3:11.0 | I'm not really abused I you know I'm not I'm not a victim all of that stuff and you know I hear a lot |
| 3:16.8 | of people saying like I don't want to identify myself as a victim I'm a survivor it's like okay |
| 3:20.5 | yes I yes I am a survivor because I've been out of it for 13 years. |
| 3:24.8 | I am absolutely a survivor, but I was a victim. |
... |
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