You are listening to Feeding the Mouth That Bight You with Ashley Parrish and Jessica Pfeiffer.

A weekly podcast guide on parenting teens and launching them into the world. As always,

we are joined by psychologist and author, Dr. Ken Wilgus.

Hey, everyone and welcome back on today's episode. Help. It's not working. That's the title. Yes. We get a lot of messages from our

listeners and we hear that there's a lot of progress and people report that things are changing

in their family. And sometimes it's very dramatic in a short period of time. And then we also,

and have experienced ourselves,

this sort of feeling like, how long until I see results, Doc? Exactly. Exactly. I'm taking,

I'm taking the dosage right. And how come, and what are the side effects? Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I've given over the, a lot of freedoms, but I'm not seeing my kid

respond much differently. And so what do we do then, Dr. Ken, when we feel like it's not having

the results we would like to see as quickly as we would like. Well, you know, this last week,

I had some parents with that and one couple

in particular that I really appreciate the effort they've put in in the last six months. And so

they've really done the planned emancipation stuff. And they were really asking me, and I think

very fairly, what am I getting, when do I get something out of this? Because

their kid is still, as I say, doing a great imitation of someone who hates her parents' guts.

And they're like, you know, I don't see that we're gaining anything. And that happens, not infrequently,

that you don't get the results that at least you thought you were getting.

So the first thing I think you do is you ask yourself, what do you mean by it's not working?

What do you, what is working look like?

So I'll sometimes hear parents praise their plan emancipation for the wrong reasons.

Like we walked in, told him he didn't have to

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