Yeah, I think that very often when we are feeling upset about something, we like to try to test our

partner to see, will they, without being prompted or without me having to share this emotion,

to pick up on it and like, preemptively or proactively apologize for it. And it's kind of

setting up a test that when we said that these tests, almost always our partner is going to fail,

we're going to have an expectation that's not going to be met. And eventually it's going to turn

into resentment and kind of sounds like that's what's going on in this situation.

Hello and welcome to the Pillotox podcast. We're your host, Vanessa. And Zander Marin.

I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience. And I'm just a regular dude. We share the

ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours.

Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical

relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors

and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you'd had.

We'd like to thank Kozy Earth for supporting our podcast. Kozy Earth provided an exclusive offer

for our Pillotox listeners today. Get up to 35% off site-wide when you use code Pillotox.

at kozyearth.com. Thanks to GreenChef, the number one meal kit for eating clean for their support

of our podcast. Go to greenchef.com slash 60 pillow and use code 60 pillow. That's 60 P-I-L-L-O-W

to get 60% off plus free shipping. In today's episode, we are answering the big question.

Am I a bigger asshole or is Zander a bigger asshole? Wow. We turned to our trusty Instagram

audience. We pulled this and 98% of people said that Zander is perfect, perfect,

wonderful man. He is definitely non-asshole so it must be Vanessa.

Wow. I'm actually scared to put a poll like that up because I bet you're right that it would

probably people would think I'm more of the asshole. I will say I'm more of an asshole

...