Episode 122: “Don’t Touch Me Like That”: Confronting Unwanted Touch In Your Relationship

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Health & Fitness, Sexuality

4.8 • 2.2K Ratings

🗓️ 21 September 2023

⏱️ 46 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Links & Resources:

Guide: Art Of Initiation

Guide: Survivor’s Guide

Does your partner ever touch you in ways, times, or places that you don't feel comfortable with? A staggering 78% of people have experienced unwanted touch in their relationships. We’re talking things like boob honks, humping from behind, and ass smacks.

So what are you supposed to do when the person you love and trust is touching your body in ways that you don’t like? There’s one thing we’re clear on: it’s your body, and you get to decide how it gets touched. That being said, there can be nuances in these kinds of situations. What if you’ve never told your partner you don’t like that kind of touch? What if you know your partner has good intentions, but just isn’t understanding your boundaries?

In this episode, we're not just highlighting the problem; we're providing solutions. We'll walk you through the three most common scenarios when it comes to unwanted touch in relationships, and provide practical guidance on how to tackle them. Whether you're seeking advice on communication, setting boundaries, or understanding consent, we've got you covered.

Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS

Thanks Babbel. Babbel.com/pillow for 55% off your subscription.

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode122

Transcript

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0:00.0	We are not in this episode going to teach you how to like something you don't.
0:04.7	What we are going to teach you is that you deserve to respect your own boundaries,
0:09.5	like you deserve to listen to your body. If your body is saying like,
0:12.5	I don't like being touched in this way, I don't want this.
0:15.2	And you deserve a partner who respects your body and your boundaries as well.
0:19.6	Hello and welcome to the Pillotox Podcast. We're your host, Vanessa.
0:30.3	And Zander Marin. I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience.
0:34.4	And I'm just a regular dude. We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you
0:39.1	step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double
0:44.0	date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories
0:50.0	of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish
0:56.6	you'd had. Thanks to Kozy Earth for supporting Pillotox. Kozy Earth provided an exclusive
1:03.8	offer for our Pillotox listeners today. Get up to 35% off site-wide when you use code Pillotox
1:11.1	at KozyEarth.com. Thanks to Babel for supporting Pillotox. Babel's 10-minute lessons make it the
1:17.8	perfect way to really learn a new language on the go. Here's a special limited time deal for
1:23.0	our listeners to get you started right now. Get 55% off your Babel subscription, but only for our
1:29.3	listeners at Babel.com slash Pillot. Today we are tackling a topic that I am so excited to talk
1:39.6	about, which is unwanted touch in relationships. Not excited in a good way.
1:44.0	Oh yeah, it's like, where are we going? Exciting may have been a weird word to you to pick,
1:48.4	but I'm hyped up to talk about this because I think this is a very important topic that I have
1:54.5	never heard anybody talk about in relationships. So I think this is a really needed episode
2:00.3	that a lot of people are going to relate to. Might you say you're uncomfortably excited to talk
	...

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