Hi guys, welcome back to the podcast. Happy Monday. Hope everyone had an awesome weekend. I am currently in New York

about to film watch what happens live over the next couple of days. I'm so nervous you guys. This is such a big moment for me. You are also supportive and so excited for me. So thank you for doing that. I'm on with James Kennedy. So that will be fun and interesting. I'm a James Stan. I always happen if you've followed my

Vanderpump feedback or whatever I like James. I think he's really funny and I know a lot of people will roll their eyes, but I do think that he has shown growth and change, which is really rare for Vanderpump cast members. So, um, you know, it's not it's not huge, but he's made he's made a lot of good positive changes in his life. And I really like alley, but I get hope we'll get more into that on the show. Oh my God, I just had a side card donut. If you live in LA, I don't actually know if they're national, but it's not. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going

to do it. If you live in LA, you actually have to eat these side cardonuts. They're not, um, they're not gluten free, but I really give a fuck. I, I'm in a I don't give a fuck. Era. I went to a party last night. I'm not hung over. I'm just like very tired. And I needed to have this donut in my sweet makeup artist, shotty yesterday brought a box of them for me. And I was like, I'm totally eating these for breakfast and they were so good. They are unbelievable donuts. I like them because they're really cake-y. So, you know, I love like a cake donut like. The density, you know, I like, I like the cake donut, like.

It's so good. So that was my breakfast. Also had another dialogue smoothie, but anyway, you need to get side cardonuts. I don't know if I'm allowed to say any details about the party that I was at last night, but it was, it was one of the best parties I've ever been to in my life. I know that's cryptic and annoying, but it was, it was a great party. So today's episode. I went back and forth on whether I should even do this. I thought, ooh, this could be skewed the wrong way.

I don't want to ever say anything negative about women ever. And then I was like, that's lazy tinks. That's lazy. And you have something to say about this and you need to articulate it because other people are feeling it too. And if we want to advance women, then we need to talk about this. Okay.

Essentially, my podcast today is going to be about women on women crime times when women are really, really mean to one another and how that can affect us and some of the reasons why I think women are mean in these three areas.

And you know, I went back and forth because I was like, well, my whole platform is about the advancement of women. Everything I do relates back to how can I boost the self of seem of women so that they don't settle in dating so that they don't settle in work.

So how can I talk to them about bodies so that they don't waste time thinking about this shit? How can we, you know, fucking attack the patriarchy? How can women get ahead? That is at the core of everything I do.

But I've had this feeling, this like little voice in the back of my head sometimes where I'm like, there's a contradiction here or there's some something that's hard to talk about, which is that sometimes women are absolute bitches to each other. Right?

I don't know how else to put it. So it's like, okay, everything I do is for the advancement of women. But why are some women so mean to other women, especially in these three areas that I picked out the three areas I want to talk about are work.

Body image and dating. My hope is that by talking about this and by the way, I don't actually have the answer because I don't think that anybody in our community would be mean to another woman.

But I don't know, you know, I was thinking back to myself and I was like, God, was there areas in my life where I could have helped women more or I shouldn't have said that or whatever.

And this is a safe space to talk about this stuff, but I really want to say again, I don't totally have the answer other than other than boosting up all the women that I come into contact with so that they don't have scarcity mindset so that they don't feel insecure because I do think that all of this meanness, it comes from insecurity and it comes from scarcity mindset.

So let's dig in, but I don't have like a cute little neat list on how to deal with these things. Unfortunately, so the first one is work. And this is actually a question that I get a lot on AMA and emails and DMs just like, oh my God, this girl is being such a bitch to me at work or this higher up, who's a woman is just cutting me off at the knees every single time, not inviting me to meetings.

And I actually had a very specific experience that I want to share with you guys when I was working at Gap. And if you worked at Gap in 2012 to 2016, maybe even know who I'm talking about, there was a vice, I think she was a vice president, I don't know, but she was very high up and she hated me.

She hated my guts. She didn't like a lot of women who were younger than her, it seemed. And this was a problem because she kind of controlled who got to take meetings, she controlled what areas we could touch, she controlled who got to present at our big like quarterly summit thing. Again, like, look, I've mentioned this many, many, many times before I wasn't that good at my job, but I tried really hard.

Like I didn't have a natural aptitude, especially for the number side of things, but I fucking tried I showed up early, I had a good attitude, I was nice to everybody, I had a lot of other friends at Gap so clearly it wasn't like me being nasty, if you know what I mean, she was so mean to me you guys like and she was mean to my other friend who was my age to and we were just always like no matter how hard we try, she's just not nice to us and she has this attitude of complete connection.

She's just a little bit more of a attempt towards us, she would make comments about our outfits, she would not include us when there was meetings or presentations and she would just be so critical and just so mean and I it really wore me down because during that time I was looking for especially women in my job to try to help me because I was so fucking bad at my job and I wanted to be better and some of them were like that's the that's the crazy annoying thing is that I was so happy.

But the power of an older woman in the workplace reaching her hand down and saying like okay you're struggling here's what I would do if I were you or like you've got to try to move to this team or like hey why don't you come to this meeting with me so you can see how we do it like the power of that is actually unmatched and I've had that too so I don't want to say I mean obviously it's not a woman but it wasn't like that entire experience I had a lot of women who were like you know you have talent it's just not at this job and stuff like that and in other areas of my life for example for every negative experience.

I'll try to give a positive one when I went to go work at posh mark every woman there boosted me up and every woman especially the ones who are a little bit further in their career than me a little bit older than me they mentored me they were like let me be your mentor they were like this is what you should do this is what you should try when I left go to grad school they were like yes you go I'm proud of you like this is the right step for you like they were so encouraging and to this day you know however many years later I still think so fondly of them so so fondly of them.

Joanna and Tracy and Kate Amanda all those women they boosted me up and I will think about them for the rest of my life and that's what's so annoying is like why can't all women do that for each other like I get your I'm not saying and also I just want to stop and and take a moment and say I've never been a person who's like you have to get along with everyone like you're sometimes you're just going to clash with people right sometimes you just do not get along with them whatever but I what I'm talking about is like that is like that is like that is like I'm not going to do that.

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