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The way that we interacted with ladies at Excel was very,

very, very, very fucking weird and definitely contributes to like,

like a lot of it's guilt, you know?

Like, if I'm looking at someone, I'm like, man,

they don't, like, I know people, if I'm looking at someone, I'm like, man, they don't, like,

I know people don't like the male gaze. Like, I, I don't want to be doing it. So, like, you look away. And then the second you look away, like, everything in your brain's like, you should probably look again. I mean, it would be nice to see a pretty lady. And, like, just going pinging back and forth between those two things like neither of them are

durable fine you know like it's all yeah yeah um no i think uh i think perhaps this is just part of

like modern civil society and how it's like we're trying to retrofit it onto humanity because

i watch my son and i'm like dude this I didn't get this sense with

my daughter but I sense it with my son school is not made for this motherfucker like I'm just telling

you dude his energy and his the way he wants to act I don't think he's any different from any other

boy he's just the one of my house school ain't made for them we do and I don't know what we would

do differently but I don't think uh I think it would take too much effort, too much time. They should be out of the woods. They're made to be out of the woods. Honestly, dude, it's, it's what you said. It's trying to sand off the contours. And, you know, the weird thing is that like we're doing that, but also, we kind of need you to be a male. Like, we need you to fuck to procreate. We need you to be excited about women because they're excited. You know, so there's like that whole, we're going to do that part too, but also like don't get a boner in class. Please act normal. And for me, you know, obviously nothing like Excel, but it was the church,

right? Yeah. Like the first dozen, I don't know, they're all one memory, but the first, however

many times I remember masturbating, I would cry and apologize to God afterward because that's what I was

told to do. Yeah. We were told that God can see you. Now, the great thing about your dick and about how fucking much it rocks to be horny, think about that story again. Didn't stop me from doing it. Yeah. He was watching. No doubt. I just knew afterward I was going to have to apologize once I hit that teen PNC. But I would cry. And I would be like, this is a sin, this is wrong. I'm going to hell, you know, I mean, God sees you. At church camp, they would tell you, you're going to have urges. God will see you if you take care of that. And so how are you going to have like a normal relationship with sex when you're apologizing to God at 11 years old for jacking off.

Yeah.

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