Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Thursday before snowpocalypse.

Everybody's going to die.

Everybody's going to freeze the death, fingers, toes.

Everything's going to be missing.

You're going to have an uncle who loses a leg, a grandfather who loses a dick, and a grandmother who loses a tit.

That's how cold it's going to be this week.

Yep.

It all starts tomorrow.

Kiss your wife, kiss your kids, kiss your dogs, goodbye.

It is all over, you're all going to die.

It's the last show you'll ever see here, all right?

The news told me that David Muir looked me right in the fucking eye last night, and he said,

America and Ross and Jesse, you're all going to die.

You're going to die,

and there's nothing you can do about it.

So,

since it's our last day on Earth here,

our last show on Earth,

might as well go huge.

Let's go big.

Let's talk about everything

we've never talked about before.

...