Episode 105: Journey Over Niagara Falls, Mother Teresa’s Ponzi Scheme, & A Polish Vampire Rises

Madigan's Pubcast

Kathleen Madigan

Madigan, Comedy:stand-up, Standup, Society & Culture, Kathleen Madigan, Comedy, Stand-up

5 • 2.3K Ratings

🗓️ 13 September 2022

⏱️ 86 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Kathleen opens the show drinking a Niagara Premium Lager from Niagara Falls Brewing Company. She shares details of her weekend in Niagara Falls including her experiences on the Behind The Falls Tour, and her favorite activity: The Hornblower boat ride.

She reads the documented encounters of people who have survived going over the Falls, including 7-year-old Roger Woodward’s miraculous survival and Annie Edison Taylor’s journey over the Falls with her cat in a barrel.

“GOOD BAD FOOD”: In her quest for new and delicious not-so-nutritious junk food AND in continuing her search for the best Ranch, Kathleen samples Lay’s Chili Cheese Frito chips, Cheez Whiz Original Cheese Dip, and her favorite Canadian snack: Hostess Hickory Sticks.

THE QUEEN’S COURT: Kathleen reports that Queen Dolly Parton has a new Greatest Hits album “Diamonds and Rhinestones” being released Nov. 18th

UPDATES: Kathleen gives an update on Mattress Mack’s new sports website, and the Bed Bath & Beyond CFO’s recent suicide.

“HOLY SHIT THEY FOUND IT”: Kathleen is amazed to read about the discovery of a rare fossil on Prince Edward Island.

FRONT PAGE PUB NEWS: Kathleen shares articles about the grave of a female vampire discovered in Poland, Burning Man ends with a Thunderdome fight, a Ponzi scheme founder referred to as “Mother Teresa” is arrested in Florida, Britain’s oldest pub is in danger of shuttering its doors forever due to rising energy costs, and a chimp who escaped from a Ukrainian zoo is rescued.

SEE KATHLEEN LIVE: See Kathleen live > kathleenmadigan.com/tour

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, everybody, it's me, Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab
0:12.9	yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, and let's talk about what's been going on.
0:17.4	Time out. Episode 105. How exciting is that? So many things. I don't even know where to
0:33.8	start. I think we start with, well, Canada, what I'm drinking. I'm drinking a Niagara
0:42.1	print, well, premium blogger. It's delicious. I may or may not have illegally brought this back.
0:48.3	Just saying, maybe I crossed a border and didn't declare that I had one beer. Should I say that?
0:55.9	Are they going to look for me next time as a criminal? Probably not. It's just one beer. It just
1:01.1	says Made in Canada, Niagara Brewing Company, which is also the glass I'm drinking out of,
1:04.7	because I went to the Niagara Brewing Company. Very fun. Because, well, first I should do,
1:13.2	because I have stories about it. We're definitely going to talk about Niagara Falls, and wow,
1:18.0	do I have a couple of stories that are fucking crazy. But first we'll do, what are we trying?
1:25.6	Well, we brought, I brought back, well, actually, the casino that I work, Falls View,
1:29.3	casino. Everybody was so nice. And it's 33 years on the road, the greatest hotel room I've
1:36.6	ever had. That's hard to say. It's hard to meet the Mirage Room with the volcano view. But this one
1:42.0	had a view. It was like a suite, it had a little family room, and then the bedroom, the family room
1:47.6	looked at the American Falls, and then the bedroom looked at the Canadian Falls, and then they light
1:53.3	them up at night, and then their fireworks at 10 o'clock. And I came in early, so I was able to see
1:57.8	all that. Yeah, I wasn't at work at that point. And if you've never been, well, I'll get into Niagara
2:03.0	Falls. But people don't seem to understand a lot of people that have never been. Well, my brother
2:07.9	goes, so if I'm in Philly with the kids, is that near Buffalo, I go, Patrick, do you not know
2:15.1	where Buffalo is? I go, how do you think Niagara Falls is created? Dude, I'm busy, I don't know.
2:20.7	Oh my God. Is it the Great Lakes? Nothing ringing a bell pet? He's usually pretty good at Geography.
	...

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