Episode 105: Escaping Emotional Abuse with Beverly Engel
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Kate Anthony
4.4 • 574 Ratings
🗓️ 11 February 2021
⏱️ 53 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This month, I am kicking off a mini-series on abuse on the Divorce Survival Guide podcast. In this episode, Beverly Engel joins me to talk about emotional abuse. She is the author of Escaping Emotional Abuse: Healing from the Shame You Don't Deserve.
Emotional abuse is a deep and insidious attack on the soul. It causes the victim to question the truth about themselves, to doubt their worthiness as a person, and even the capacity to love.
In Beverly's book, she writes that she found emotional abuse and shame to be more harmful than physical abuse. Whether or not you are being emotionally abused, this episode is a must-listen. The only way to help people from abuse like emotional abuse is to talk openly and honestly about it. We cover so much in this episode, I hope you'll tune in.
Also, coming up over the next few weeks during the Divorce Survival Guide mini-series on abuse, we'll explore the topics of domestic violence, financial abuse, and how to communicate with a high-conflict co-parent. You can sign up for my email list to be notified whenever a new episode is released or subscribe to the podcast on your favorite podcast listening app.
Show Highlights
- What is emotional abuse? (4:06)
- Some characteristics of emotional abuse, like threatening to leave you or withholding money, sex, or affection. (15:00)
- The reason why women, in particular, find themselves in emotionally abusive relationships.(21:10)
- The intentional abuser is looking for somebody they can control. (22:34)
- The unintentional abuser is probably repeating what they witnessed in their home, repeating how his father treated his mother or vice versa. (27:26)
- You are depressed, emotionally, and physically depleted. Beverly explains how to gain the strength and the determination to pack up and leave. (33:24)
- Shame is one of the most damaging aspects of emotional abuse. We discuss some of the major factors towards healing, including self-compassion and expressing anger. (41:14)
Learn More About Beverly:
Beverly has been a psychotherapist for 35 years specializing in emotional and sexual abuse healing. She is the author of 23 self-help books and has been on many national radio and TV programs including CNN, Oprah and Starting Over.
Resources & Links:
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go. |
| 0:17.7 | I'm Kate Anthony, your divorce survival guide, and I'm here to help you navigate some of |
| 0:23.3 | the roughest waters you've ever swum in and answer some of your toughest questions. I've been to |
| 0:29.1 | hell and back, and now it's my mission in life to help you get to the other side of this process |
| 0:35.1 | with your sanity and your heart intact. |
| 0:42.3 | Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of the Divorce Survival Guide podcast. |
| 0:47.8 | I am your host, Kate Anthony, your divorce survival guide. |
| 0:52.8 | Today I am kicking off a little mini series on abuse. I have with me |
| 1:00.1 | today, Beverly Engle, and we're going to be talking about emotional abuse. Next week, I have Leslie |
| 1:06.9 | Morgan Steiner is coming back on. We're going to be talking about domestic violence. Then I have an episode on financial abuse and an episode with Bill Eddy talking about how to communicate with a high |
| 1:21.1 | conflict co-parent. So stick around for the next few episodes. But we're kicking off today with Beverly Engel, who has just |
| 1:29.0 | written a new book called Escaping Emotional Abuse, Healing from the Shame You Don't Deserve. And, |
| 1:37.4 | oh, my gosh. So Beverly is an internationally recognized psychotherapist and an acclaimed |
| 1:42.2 | advocate for victims of sexual, physical, and emotional |
| 1:45.6 | abuse. And in her book, she offers a compassionate source book on how to heal from the trauma and |
| 1:52.2 | pain of psychological abuse. It is a fantastic book. I can't recommend it highly enough. Physical abuse is an |
| 2:00.5 | attack on the body, and we will talk |
| 2:02.1 | about that next week. Emotional abuse is a deep and insidious attack on the psyche and the soul, |
| 2:08.9 | and it causes the victim to question the truth about themselves, to doubt their worthiness |
| 2:16.2 | as a person, and their ability to satisfy a partner, |
| 2:19.7 | even the capacity to love. So in this book, escaping emotional abuse, Beverly Engel writes |
| 2:28.8 | that in her three decades of practice, she's found that emotional abuse and specifically shame are more harmful |
... |
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