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The Perfect 10 Podcast w/Lahna Turner

Episode 104: Be All You Can Be with Ryan and Jackie

The Perfect 10 Podcast w/Lahna Turner

All Things Comedy

Comedy

4.4603 Ratings

🗓️ 6 January 2016

⏱️ 37 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This week on The Perfect 10 Podcast, Lahna welcomes hilarious comedian Jackie Kashian as our co-host, and the ladies rip apart a super-fun segment with eccentric comic Ryan Broems. Jackie and Lahna listen and discuss Ryan's wild moving-to-LA and pre-comedy life stories (and share some of their own), everything from being a male stripper to joining the Army. Support your troops and comedians and listen in! 

Transcript

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0:00.0

I feel bad that we're, because he's not here to have any sort of rebuttal.

0:04.1

Kat and I talk about that a lot.

0:05.6

We're like, we do these interviews and we really like the person.

0:08.4

And then we don't want to be like slamming on him.

0:10.6

Just pick it apart.

0:11.8

I know.

0:12.6

I know.

0:17.0

Hey, guys.

0:19.8

I'm Lana Turner and this is the Perfect 10 podcast. Thanks so much for joining us. And I'm so excited to be sitting here across from somebody who I'm a huge fan of that I've never got to meet.

0:30.0

Here we are, Lana. Jackie Carson. Did I say it right? Did I say it right? Because then I don't sound like a good fan.

0:35.8

Right. You sound like just an okay fan, but I don't care. You can ethnic mind. It's Cajun like vacation. Everybody messes up your name, I'm sure. Two of my siblings pronounce it differently. So you're not alone. You've chosen wisely to just go with something weird and ethnic. Well, is it not. It's Armenian. It's Armenian. Okay. Well, it is ethnic. But you don't pronounce it ethnically. No, because my dad just said it's Kaysian like vacation. And because he was built busy melting. He was melting and he didn't wish to not melt into the melting pot. And so if you want to make it all weird and ethnic... You're in Hollywood. Can you Jew it up? I can Armo it up. That would work too, right?

1:12.4

Right. If I were Jewish, I would definitely Jew it up. I would glad hand my way around to all of, and I do. I do whatever glad handing I can do with the Armenians. But I'm a Wisconsin Armenian. So it's a very, very different thing. Because everyone's, the first question is, is do you speak

1:28.2

Armenian? And I'm like, no, I can do church and food. Did you want me to make you some Lutmajun?

1:32.7

Were you the Armenian in Wisconsin? That's hard to say that if you say that three times fast.

1:37.4

There's like a thousand Armenians. I mean, there were two churches. There were two churches in

1:43.5

Milwaukee. And we went to the one in our small town.

1:47.9

There were a couple hundred, you know, probably three to five hundred Armenians in the town of 22,000 people.

1:53.1

So we were stacked like cordwood as far as, you know, my father was always like, my father is hilarious and likes to make racist comments because he's hilarious.

2:51.8

Racism is funny no matter of what race it's coming out of. It's just so funny. And I remember he's, he's, my father is genuinely just a button pusher. He doesn't care. He doesn't care enough about other people to actually be racist. It's not any, it's not that he doesn't. He just wants to see your reaction to his racist comments. Yes. Yes. That's the best. You have a, that's a three-pointer. You nailed it. And then you can also gauge if someone else is racist based on their reaction to your racism. Right. And then my dad knows not to hang out with them. Right. If someone is actually full of hate. That's interesting. My father doesn't believe in any sort of strong emotions. And so as the father of six, it's an interesting life choice because you'd think he'd be surrounded by strong emotions. And he's constantly like, I just want to be in a good mood. Why can we all just be in a good mood? Every day's a holiday. Every meal's a feast. And you're like, that is actually factually incorrect, father.

2:58.2

And I love my dad, mostly so that other people don't. But you have to. And the thing is,

3:04.2

he, I remember he would, he would button push and he would say things like, uh, dictatorships keep people busy, you know, which, um, he just was trying to teach us how to do arguments, right? He would just, you have to learn how to argue. You have to learn how to sell your son of the... So you grew up in like a loud home or it's like a lot of... We would sit at the table and everyone would get two minutes to get his attention. Oh, that's hilarious. And if it didn't, he'd be like, next. So you grew up basically

3:25.1

performing and trying to, like, captivate an audience. Oh, to get everyone. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's, it was very much, it's why I talk so fast. You have to get it in. I got, I got, I got a, I got 10 minutes of material. I got to get into two minutes and the hopes that you can laugh about it later. I got the rest of my life ahead of me. So let's do this. Oh, I have been talking, by the way, for the last three minutes. Hi, how's it going? That's okay. That's great. Keep on coming. So you moved from Wisconsin to Los Angeles. From Minneapolis, really. I'm a Minneapolis comic. So I started in Wisconsin, but I moved to Minneapolis. I count the 80s as one year. And then in 1990, I moved to Minneapolis to do stand-up sort of as a permanent, you know, I knew that I wanted to do it forever. You know, it was like heroin. I assume that you know that that is something you will do. Once you start, you can't stop. Yeah, yeah, it's an addiction. And, but so in 90, I moved to Minneapolis, and then I moved to L.A. in 97, and because I did, like, the second year of the HBO Comedy Festival when it was kind of a big deal, but it was before a lot of sort of Hollywood haircuts took it over, where they were like, well, you got to get my,

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