This is all happening now, but it's happening someplace else.

In a public park at the crack of dawn, Morgan K is out for her daily run.

She's wearing a tattered t-shirt, hideous day glow fanny pack, and a look that says,

hey, maybe don't try and talk to me while I'm jogging, okay?

She pops in earbuds and begins to run across her picture-esque urban paradise underneath

a beautiful blue sky.

Guys with huge lumberjack beards and women dressed like 80s break dancers all brunch and

vape and walk shelter dogs and have two loud conversations like this.

This new cleanse is super bomb.

I can eat anything I want to between 140 and 155 AM.

The rest of the day I just inhale a series of steams.

I'm just so much more present since I deleted Twitter and Facebook from my phone.

It's giving me more time to just exist, you know?

You guys, jocky menories.

I cannot get enough freaking talking menories right now.

Have you seen the one about food?

Activated truck was actually like the best.

Morgan turns a corner and is flanked by another jogger.

Hey, nice fanny pack.

Did you know that um, fanny is actually what British people call the lady privates?

This is Chad, a man who clearly just read a how-to on a pickup artist's subreddit titled,

How to Talk to a woman who is wearing headphones.

...