Good morning and welcome to the increase from impact podcasts. I'm Justin Sua episode

1,802. One thing we discuss very often with you lead athletes is this axiom, the things

you try to control but can't end up controlling you. I'll say it once again, the things that

you try to control but can't end up controlling you. There is a term that we often discuss

and the term is to not should all over yourself. S-H-O-U-L-D. Do not should all over yourself

and what I mean by that is, saying, telling yourself, I shouldn't be nervous. I should

be confident. I should be in this place. I should have known better. I should have

done this. Should have done that. I should be here. I should do this. Shouldn't do that.

All these different shoulds and the problem with that is when you should all over yourself,

what begins to happen is you allow the past or the future or things that you cannot control,

control you. If you tell yourself that you shouldn't be nervous when you're clearly nervous,

that creates this expectation that you're a robot and that you are not allowed to feel

the way you feel. When you tell yourself, I should be confident. What you're saying is that

you aren't allowing yourself to feel these feelings of lack of confidence. You're not

allowed. You're so focused on how you feel that you focus less on what you should do and how

you should respond or how you could respond to the situation. When you constantly tell yourself

that you should or should not be doing something, you build for yourself these unexpected expectations.

In addition to that, these feelings of trying to control something you can't and you're

beating up on yourself over a situation that you have no control over or largely have no control

over and then you begin to focus on that rather than the things you can control. Once again,

the things you can't control end up controlling you. What do you do? You catch yourself

shooting all over yourself and then you identify what can I control and then focus on that.

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