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Guaranteed Human. Idiot coworker wants me to get the manager to punish me? Okay, sure, but you're not going to like what happens next. I mean, this is like, why would O.P. want to be punished? Why would they ask for the punishment unless they're into like BDSM or something? Punish me, please, But it's work related. It's like yeah it's like you didn't meet your Q4 4th. Oh God.

Your retention is down 4% month over month. My company takes safety very seriously to the point

where we have safety briefings on the regular to keep us updated. Yesterday, we had a talk

on compactor safety, which is like giant machine to just like compact stuff. Yeah. One of our big

rules is to never ever under any circumstances climb into the compactor unless it's unhooked

from power sources. Oh, dude, why would you ever climb in time? Why would you ever? I feel like that's just a recipe for disaster. That's like a final destination kind of thing. Yeah. Getting crushed by a combactor sounds like, got to be one of the worst ways to go. Because also you have like few seconds where you know what's happening. Oh,'t just like instantly die. Sounds like common sense, right?

Yes. Well, dear reader, as you're about to learn, apparently common sense, ain't that common. It ain't that common anymore, at least in the U.S., everyone out here of being crazy. After getting our briefing, we get our assignments and are sent on our merry way. I go to my area, clean it, and pull the trash. As I'm walking to the compactor, what I see sticking out of it is two trousered legs. That must be a human? Hopefully. Hopefully living. Oh, yeah. Hopefully living and not compacted. After the shock lasting a nanosecond war off, I started yelling, what are you doing, you idiot? Don't go crawling around in there. I know I shouldn't have yelled, but I was so mad. Dude, well, I mean, definitely yell. Get the fuck out of there, man. Quickly, how do you stop someone from like doing something so dangerous like that? Like, what else do you do? Maybe don't say, you're like, I don't know what, like, you have to yell at them like, spanking. Get out. I'm about to get packed that booty.

Well, Mr. to yell at them. Like, you're spanking. Get out.

I'm about to compact that booty. Well, Mr. Idiot fell out of it and then starts yelling at me. Don't you go yelling at me? Where's your manager? Get him here right now! I'm really destroying my voice for you guys. Why you stop being an idiot? God damn. Oh, man.

Also, I don't know why we always go to the Southern accent.

Yeah, that's so funny.

At this point, the malicious compliance mode has been active. an idiot god damn oh man also i don't know why we always go to the southern accent

it's just so funny at this point the malicious compliance mode has been activated i put on my

sweetest smile and say of course i'm so sorry let me get my manager here mr idiot smirks and is

like good girl so i call my manager over and I ask her check it out. Meanwhile, Mr.

Idiya is smiling like the cat who got the cream. Maybe they are Southern. Never heard that

phrase. Yeah. It sounds like a Southern phrase. Neither have I. I'm fighting to keep from smiling

because my manager, Miss Heroin, as in of the hero, takes safety as seriously as I do. I've seen

her reduce full men to tears over safety issues.

Miss Heroin shows up and Mr. Idiot says,

You should treat your workers not to Yale.

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