This is an I-Heart podcast.

Guaranteed Human.

Today I asked up by accidentally getting my wife to admit to an affair,

but what she said next made it ten times worse.

I admit to ten affairs.

You are the product of an affair.

Yes.

And I am your mother. That would be a Reddit story. God, damn. There we go. All right. Here we go. There we go. So on Christmas morning, we were both up early. She was about to do some last minute shopping. We had a mutual couple that we were friends with and they broke up. And so I reply back with, well, maybe if they would have been honest with their partner,

they wouldn't have broken up. I guess she thought this was me tipping my cap to say that I know

something. Oh. So she looks at me with a lot of sadness and sincerity and says, yeah, I guess you're

right. I'm sorry. At this point, I'm like, yeah, right. Okay, whatever. She then responds, no, I guess you're right. I'm sorry. At this point, I'm like, yeah, right, okay,

whatever. She then responds, no, I'm tired of lying. At this moment, I'm in utter disbelief.

She proceeds to tell me everything. Oh, God. I'll spare the details for anonymity's sake,

but I'm laying on my sister's couch currently at 1 a.m.

I have an apartment I'll be moving into within the next two weeks. It's been rough. We've

talked since then as we have a child together. Damn. I see my little girl every day.

There's no chance of reconciliation because this isn't the first, second or third time it's

happened on her end.

Oh, my God.

But it will be the last.

Oh, fire.

That's a bar.

...