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Today, I effed up by accidentally watching some sweet schlongs during a flight, but it's not what you think.

What?

I'm just watching some sweet schlongs, maybe.

You know, some egg plant harm.

Is this a mile high?

You would think it is, but it's not.

All right.

Let's hear. Yesterday, I, 22 male, it's not. All right, let's hear.

Yesterday, I, 22 male, was on a plane, a two-hour flight scheduled to land at 8 p.m. I had the window seat and there were two other passengers sitting next to me who were a young couple. The woman was sitting in the middle and she was squeezing her boyfriend's hand the entire time, most likely anxiety. Now, the weather was pretty bad,

and I could relate to how the woman was feeling, but instead of cutting off the blood

circulation in another person's hand, I tried to distract myself with a movie on my laptop.

What kind of movie? Oh, the movie I chose to watch was called Violation. Oh, God. So this was a movie my roommate had recommended to me.

It was almost as long as my flight was going to be, so I thought, why not let's do it?

Well, the thing is, I fell asleep while watching Violation.

It's a super effed up revenge movie. You'll love it, my roommate said to me.

I was sold.

But the thing is, my roommate did not mention

that it was also super boring. Dang. The movie did one thing right though. It managed to put me

right to sleep during a turbulent flight. Amazing. But then, I woke up to someone tapping me on the

shoulder. It was a passenger next to me. And at that moment, I also noticed

...