This is an I-Heart podcast.

Guaranteed Human.

John, you're in a relationship, right? Heck, yeah, I am. I'm, I'm kind of in something right now. You're kind of in multiple relationships, potentially. Yeah, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in a situation ship right now. A situation, yeah. Yeah, it's, it's, uh, we're trying to figure out. But anyway, the thing is, I'm trying to learn how to be a better lover.

Oh, of course.

A better, a better lover.

Oh, of course.

A better, a better boyfriend, a better situation ship man.

Mm-hmm.

And I want to learn for the best.

Oh, definitely.

And I feel like there's no better way to learn about how a functioning relationship

blossoms. Oh. And dies. Yes. The paternity court.

It is, it is the epitome of, of relationship advice when you think about it. Yeah, it is. Like,

this is like, this is what you do not do. Yeah. Or maybe it is what you do, depending on what kind of relationship you want.

Maybe, maybe I love and adore my partner or maybe I get 10 mistresses.

You don't know.

Hey, John, I think 10 mistresses would suit you.

But we are the official judges of the paternity court.

And we're going to judge this crazy fucking story.

The title is Afghanistan veteran learns his wife cheated when he was deployed during

his tour of duty.

You know, that was getting a tour of her booty.

...