This is an I-Heart podcast.

Guaranteed Human. Today I fuffed up by drinking water. They gave me kidney stones. That don't sound fun. Hey, don't get stone when drinking that water. I gave myself kidney stones by drinking water. So I'm 35 and I go on this health kick. I'm trying to slim down my dad bod to a rad bod. I drink a lot of water because I do HVAC outside. What's HVAC? I think that's like air conditioning.

Okay.

Of Litt. Bad Bad to Radbot. I drink a lot of water because I do HVAC outside. What's HVAC? High.

I think that's like air conditioning. Okay. Of late, I've been drinking water with high alkaline.

So pH 9 plus stuff. Smart water, 711 water, you know it. Because I'm lazy and also because I lack

ice and the space necessary to cart around a barrel of fun 80s throwback. I don't even know what that means. So I noticed some pain in my lower back on Sunday. I thought it was muscles, the whole new workout, get fit kind of deal. End of the day, I was in excruciating pain from midback around to the front and all down my left side. And then the right side started

hurting. I also noticed I hadn't been peeing much. So I went to the docks on Monday and

it's kidney stones. Oh God. They assume it's calcium oxalate, the common type. Weird. I haven't

been upping my calcium intake aside from a one a day vitamin. So I proceeded to drink three gallons of water and two gallons of a limated day.

Still, I was hardly peeing, even given the mass of fluid intake.

I wake up the morning with a bursting bladder and I sprint to the bathroom.

It's a fire hose, but not a regular fire hose.

It's pouring out of me with force.

Splash against the toilet so hard and spraying back against my legs.

It's like sitting next to like Niagara Falls or something.

Yeah, yeah, you're just like getting constant mist in your face.

Then the pain hits with emphasis.

I regret my life choices.

I feel the stream lesson and what feels like gravel starting to tear through my urethra.

Oh, yes.

Oh, no.

...