EP382: That's Not A Ghost, I'm Just Jerkin It - r/TIFU Reddit Story
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iHeartPodcasts
4.3 • 576 Ratings
🗓️ 8 August 2022
⏱️ 5 minutes
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Summary
r/tifu - TIFU by masturbating after my wife had our son, now she thinks the house is haunted.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is an I-Heart podcast. |
| 0:02.6 | Guaranteed Human. |
| 0:04.3 | Today I effed up by masturbating after my wife had our son and now she thinks the house is haunted. |
| 0:10.5 | Don't you hate it when you just masturbate after your kid's bored and then the house is haunted? |
| 0:14.6 | Put a finger down. |
| 0:17.4 | So I recently have become a father. |
| 0:19.2 | My son is a week old and I've been home with mom and baby the whole time. |
| 0:22.6 | Just jacking it. |
| 0:25.0 | Needless to say, I was getting a little bit restless at home, even with the lack of sleep that comes with a new kid. |
| 0:30.8 | I've also, I've been doing semen retention for like the last like month. |
| 0:35.2 | Explain how that works. |
| 0:36.4 | You basically like try to not come in any scenario, even during sex. So it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, I mean, kind of like edging is more like, I mean, yes, but like you just never go over the edge basically. Right. And you're not, but you're not, well, you also don't masturbate at all. Salute, sir. It's apparently like it gives you more energy and stuff like that. Interesting. |
| 0:55.8 | But I think like the main thing is like if you can control. also don't masturbate at all. Salute, sir. It's, uh, apparently like, it gives you more energy and, and stuff like that. |
| 0:55.6 | Interesting. |
| 0:55.9 | But I think, like, the main thing is, like, if you can control that impulse, then you can control anything in your life. It's like that is, yes. The strongest human impulse. That is, that is true. I like it. Respect. Have you heard Andrew Tate? I have heard of Andrew Tate. |
| 1:08.3 | He's all over, bro. |
| 1:10.4 | So many of my friends are getting inundated with Andrew Tate stuff. |
| 1:14.5 | It's, he's... |
| 1:10.9 | So many of my friends are getting inundated with Andrew Tate stuff. It's, it's insane how he's just like blown up in like a second. Yeah. Dude, it's insane. It's like every third... Maybe it's because I'm watching it now, but like every third video is like an Andrew Tate video. I don't see the videos as much, but I definitely hear like all like friends, other podcasters |
| 1:30.0 | talking about it. |
| 1:30.8 | And I. Everywhere. One TikTok I saw basically explained he has some sort of like, you know, program or whatever. Yeah. And he has the people in the program create accounts to repost old clips of his. They were saying that that's like a big reason why. |
| 1:45.5 | Like literally he has like hundreds of people or however many people all creating different |
... |
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