Hello and welcome to Let's Talk About It with Taylor Nolan. I am your host and today I am here with a fellow Bachelor and Bachelor Paradise member Kendall.

Hello there. Thanks for joining today.

So first I mean I saw you on REC's end of the Bachelor and I wasn't really planning to watch that season actually but it happened and you were definitely one of the people that like I always try to not judge after having my experience but watching you I was definitely like oh I feel like I could be friends with her.

I felt that too though. I felt the connection with you. I was like yes, friends before we met each other. Yeah yeah well good I'm glad to hear that you felt that back too because I was like yeah I really I dig her vibes and I just I was like I feel like you're just like a great person in general.

Thank you. And so I'm excited to have finally met you. We've like you know talked to via Instagram and the phone occasionally but it's super nice to like actually meet you in person.

Yeah. Oh right finally after all these not even years I guess months. Yeah it feels like years though. I like that so real things. Time goes by so quickly they definitely do. And then you also had a two on one and I had a two on one.

Very different outcomes and just dynamics overall but absolutely loved how you handled it. Thank you.

Yeah. It's such a weird situation to be almost I mean it's the whole entire thing of the bachelor's you're in a competition not in a competition but it's like you're competing for love or for like the attention or something so it's just a really weird world.

And so in that world I was just trying to support other women through it because I felt like if I showed the best version of myself and other people showed the best version of themselves then he would choose someone that would just make sense for him as opposed to choosing like an altered version of this person that was trying to make look like an awful person.

Yeah so with the whole crystal thing I mean I had a lot of empathy for her because she had been through a lot and she had opened up to me and so I felt like I was one of the closer girls to her in the house so the fact that she was acting that way I just thought it wasn't her.

Yeah so I think I was just trying to come from a place that like this really isn't you you don't have to do this and you know and we both handled things differently but.

Yeah well also just very different relationships but one of the things I loved was that you really touched on empathy and that's something we've talked a little bit about on the pod specifically we really covered like having empathy with yourself and being able to practice that but I'm curious like in in in practicing that empathy towards other people especially in that kind of a setting like is that something that's always kind of come natural to you or have you had times where you like actually try to you know.

Intentionally be like okay I'm really going to put myself in this person's shoes and like try to you know actually express empathy to them yeah I think I don't know growing up it was I wasn't used I didn't used to not be as empathetic when I was younger when I was like really really young I didn't understand that people are things had feelings and it was something that I kind of learned through the experiences I moved a lot as a kid went to different schools and I kind of grew into understanding that people had.

Had feelings and they felt beyond myself and I think that's mean that all kids kind of go through when they're getting older like oh when I do this you know it hurts someone's feelings so I shouldn't do that and so I slowly learned that and I think that in my life now it just I'm so painfully aware of other people's feelings yeah that I can't help but to make sure some ever and I feel happy because then if I ever and I feel happy then I feel happy as well so I think it also has to do with just like growing up with just like a twin and someone's

feeling that you have to consciously always be aware of and just making sure that you know you don't stifle their happiness in any way I'm not sure I feel like I just want to make the best version of everyone yeah yeah and I think it's it's it sticks out to me that you're like if I'm run another other people that are going to be happy that I'm going to be happy exactly and and in that it's kind of a you know a cycle that kind of feeds itself but then I'd be curious for you like where other people in your life and you're like I'm just like I'm not a man I'm not happy with that.

So I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just trying to make sure that you're in your life return that to you you know yeah I think I'm growing up I was actually painfully shy and I moved around a lot and I didn't really have a lot of close friends so my sister and I we kind of seek safety in each other and we were really close friends and we ended up being friends with people that other people kind of made fun of because we were people that people made fun of as well so kind of just understanding that words carry so much weight and you have no idea even for a child like you don't realize how much someone's life could be shifted by so much

and you know when I was on the road and I was like, I'm the only one that I wanted to say that that's something that you say so growing up I had a lot of you know the drama of course going through schools like a young girl. I had a lot of you know bullies and mean people my sister you know had gotten beaten up one time at school and so going through that, I think I just don't want anyone to feel that way and I just don't think it's right and I think I just try to go out of my way to make people feel comfortable because I felt a lot of times no one did that for me so I

were aware of how people are feeling because I just know how alone I felt at times and my sister and I were kind of in you know our own little army against that so I feel like I tried it my walking life always keep that in mind.

Yeah that's I mean thank you for sharing that and I think it's something that other people can definitely relate to I mean and they may not have a twin or even a sibling and so they're kind of going through that alone I mean I think back to my experiences like I'm

moved a little bit as well and there were definitely a lot of those times where it's like you're really alone and you're actually our last episode was on being alone and and just kind of trying to figure out how you sit with that and how you can actually reach out to connect with other people and I mean it sounds like you and your sister really found you know connection and safety in one another and I imagine that must have been like really hard for you to like see you know

to like see her go through that and then hard for her also to like see you go through some of that. Yeah and I think I always try to make it an extra point to connect with random people even some of the grocery store or someone just in walking life because everyone can teach you something you know so I've had so many amazing conversations with people that I had no idea existed or had like that mentality on something so I like just I like creating a community of people around me because I lacked that when I was younger although I had my self

family in front like some friends I lacked that sense of like safety and community so I feel like I always strive for that like wherever I go so where I try to make a connection with somebody. Yeah and I mean I agree I'm very much the same way and that's part of why like Seattle is such a safe community for me because the friends that I've you know developed there are like actually family to me like the having that sense of community is so important and we stress that so much on the podcast of like if you are experiencing a difficult time like to

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