This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. I accidentally became Jewish for 10 years. What an accident, you know? You just slip and then all of a sudden you're Jewish. You just cut off the tip of your penis and, hey, you're Jewish. Hey, how's about? Mazeltaf. Several years ago, after a bad breakup, I decided to cheer myself up by getting back into the tabletop gaming hobby

that I had given up largely for the past few years.

Just throwing the old paddle around, am I right?

Paddle.

I thought it was ping pong.

Oh, I think when he says tabletop gaming, I think he means like Dungeons and Dragons.

Oh.

I think.

I don't know.

Maybe it is ping pong. I was thinking it was that. I discovered meetup.com and responded to a handful of posts from people looking for new players for their games. But the first few that I responded to weren't great. One of them was really far away and the other one had like eight players. So I'm assuming it's probably like a dungeon and dragons.

So I started going into these events with the mindset that I very well will never see these

people ever again. Flash forward to a post by a guy I'll call Derek looking for people to

join his Dungeons and Dragons game. Dungeons and Dragons. There it is. Turned out that he only

lived a few blocks for me.

And Derek and the other guys who were there, let's call them Philip Matthew, all seemed easy

to get along with.

So far so good.

Everything was going great until Matthew suggested we order pizza.

Philip looked up a place on his delivery app.

We collectively decided what we wanted to get.

And then Philip announced that the

place had a special where you could get bacon as an additional topping for no cost.

...