Wine and crime contains graphic and explicit content that may not be suitable for some listeners.

Listener discretion is advised.

Alright, there's someone speaking into the microphone which can mean only one thing. Welcome to the Wine and Crime live podcast.

My name is Scott Artley and I'm up here wearing my Wine and Crime colors totally on purpose, which is totally a lie, unless you ask the girls in which case it's totally on purpose.

And I'm here because I'm a childhood best friend of these three ladies. And that means that I for 25 years, we really have been friends that long.

I've had the pleasure of hearing them, the absolute pleasure of hearing them make light of other people's pain and trauma.

And I used to feel bad about that and I'm so glad that all of you love it too. So thank you for being here.

I want to point out by the way that people who helped shape to nature and nurture these dark souls, which is all the moms down here.

Hi moms. And there's a mom over there. There's some moms over there.

So thank you for coming. Before the girls come out, I have a few reminders. One, tip the bartenders. They're here of their own accord. They're not getting paid except for your tips.

So please tip often, tip generously to me if you want to. I'm not getting paid either. Secondly, buy some merch. There's some beautiful merch people over there and wonderful merch. Some of it is already being fashionably worn.

Yeah, right there. Love it. Buttons. Yeah, you can do it in the fucking patriarchy. Wine glass.

All right. So I'm also going to ask you to quote social. This is a direct quote from Amanda. Social media. The fuck out of this.

So with hashtag wine and spelled out crime live. Wine and crime live.

And then the last reminder is we're recording this. This is actually being recorded. So turn off your phones. Get out all your farts right now.

And react. Okay. This is in front of a live audience and we want everyone who's not geographically in Minnesota right now to get that there are people here. So I need you to react. Okay.

So we're going to practice. Are you ready? We've all seen TV shows with the studio audience. There's like different levels of audience reaction. We're going to start out with a little studio audience chuckle. Are you ready? One, two, three.

And you're done. Perfect. Well done. Now we're going to do a big studio lab. We're going to bellow. Are you ready? This is something really funny.

Excellent. And our last one is we're going to give a round resounding rounding applause. Are you ready? One, two, three applause. Keep it going as we welcome Kenyan, Lucy and Amanda and the wine and crime live podcast.

Wait a few of the show were screwed now. All right. Kenyan, kick it off. What is happening? You are listening to wine and crime.

The podcast were three friends, chug wine, chat true crime and unleash their worst minnesota anaccess.

Yes, Quim! Thank you for being here. What the, you paid for this? I'm so sorry.

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