This is an I-Heart podcast.

Guaranteed Human.

I hooked up with a stranger.

The next morning, I discovered the awful truth.

Gonorrhea.

Or maybe they were just, you know, they looked really good in the nice, you know, lamps,

you know, the night sky, the moonlight.

And then you wake up and you're like, yo, who's this truck right next to?

Yeah, dude.

Yeah, like the makeup comes off. The booze wears off. And then all of a sudden, you realize, thought you had a Fiona, but you had a Shrek. And so you're like, holy shit, I'm even more into it. Oh, damn. Where's that here wax, daddy? Yeah. Ooh. Wait, wait. No sex right where's riley we're we're missing

riley today guys so we're we're trying our best but you know what we'll be good boys we'll be

good boys and read the story well i promise this is a christian podcast that's correct puritans

yeah i am a female first year college student at a coastal college in the eastern u.S. I was walking downtown one Friday night with my friends after leaving a music venue drunk when I made eye contact with a guy. But for an abnormally long amount of time. Like this. Are you in love yet? Smoldering. Blue steel. Are you in love? Look at me. If you stand to someone's eyes for 30 seconds, you are in love. That's right. We're in love. It's a fact. Comment. Don't deny it. If now we're in love. Do it. Please. Do it. Please. Please. I mean at least 10 seconds, which is a long time. I will say. One, one thousand, two, one thousand, three, one thousand,,000, 4,000, 5,000, 5, 1,000, 6, 1,000, 7, 1,000, 7, 1,000, 8,000, 9,000, 9,000, 10, 1,000. Love. Love. I noticed that he's cute and perhaps a little too old for me, but I'm a little wasted and I'm feeling bold. So I turn around and walk up to him. I asked him for his Snapchat because that's just an easy way to talk to someone.

Yo, he's old. He don't have a Snapchat. Nah, dude, he's an ancient fossil. Like me. An old burly man curmudgeon just hiding in a trash can waiting for the children to defer rocks. Are millennial. Given the kids, freaking, instead of candy, gives them walnuts. I have to say my outfit today is not helping my cause of trying to be youth at all. Youth pastor. That, that is that works. Yeah, youth pastor. That's the leader of young people. So you have to be old. You are a leader of young people. I'll take that. Our audience is young. That's true. That's true. He mutters to me. I'm from Germany though. I tell him I don't mind and I'd like to get to know him. Oh yeah. O P. I'd like to get to know him. Oh yeah. He says okay. And we exchanged Snapchats. Oh, so he did have Snapchat.

Okay, cool.

He did.

So he's not as old and convergingly as me.

For a few days, he did not reach out.

So I figured he wasn't interested.

Okay, whatever.

But he eventually reached out and we began talking frequently.

The sparks are flying.

...