President Biden has not had much luck lately.

Inflation at record highs, gas prices also at record highs,

a migrant surge at the border, a crime surge within the borders,

the first major war in Europe in 70 years, approval ratings in the doldrums,

and the progressive loss of his ability to form coherent English sentences.

But yesterday, Biden finally may have received a sign that his luck is about to turn around,

when a bird defecated on his blazer.

At the center of our efforts to build a future that's made in America,

and that's not hyperbole, it's about being made in America.

A lot of that has to do with this.

And there it is. There you can see it. He's talking and then this little white kind of appears

and we know what happened, a bird defecated on him. The notion that a bird defecating on you

constitutes good luck is an old Russian superstition based on the sheer improbability of it happening.

Experts have put the odds at around 0.18%. That's the regression. The analysis has shown that it's

that small, but it's not true for everyone if you live in New York City.

The odds increase to about 1.14% since New York is home to more than 1 million pigeons.

And both of those numbers are based on an average person spending 5,184 seconds per day outside

exposed to the predations of bird bowels. If you increase the number of pigeons in your city,

or if you increase the time you spend exposed to birds, your chances would increase even more.

If, for instance, you locked yourself in a room filled to the brim with birds and gave yourself

nowhere to hide, your odds of getting crap down by a bird would be 100%. Which is why I don't think Joe

Biden's bad luck is going to turn around. Because Joe Biden's bad luck has not been based on random

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