This episode is brought to you by Slack. With Slack, you can bring all your people and

tools together in one place. It's your digital HQ where you can increase productivity,

enable flexibility and automate workflows. Plus, Slack is full of game-changing features

like huddles for quick check-ins or Slack Connect, which helps you connect with partners

inside and outside of your company. Slack, where the future works. Get started at

Slack.com slash DHQ. In an emergency conclave held in the ruined castle of duplicity, set

high on the fog shrouded crags of mount corruption, a coven of American journalists gathered

in their ceremonial black robes last night to discuss how to disparage Donald Trump's

progress toward peace in the Middle East. As lightning repeatedly turned the black clouds

a sickly gray as a cinematic symbol of ultimate evil, the chairman of the dark gathering,

Lord High Master of all fraudulence, George Stephanopoulos, called the meeting to order by pounding

his gavel made from the skull of an inconvenient child by a Democrat politician's mistress on

a pentagram drawn in the blood of Jeffrey Epstein. Stephanopoulos suggested that Trump's

Middle East peace deal might be downplayed if the media simply did not ask White House

press secretary, Kayleigh McEnany, even a single question that might distract the public

from the latest meaningless bombshell from Bob Woodward, who attended the meeting in the

shape of a bat hanging upside down from a stalactite. Dean Bequet of the New York Times,

a former newspaper, also attended in his true form, slithering across the floor to suggest

that journalists might explain to their audience that Middle East peace is a grave impediment

to the oppressed Palestinians yearning to wipe every Jew off the face of the earth. The

suggestion was met with such loud cackling laughter that NBC's Chuck Todd burst into

flame before regaining his shape as a clove entailed demon, no bigger than a man's fist.

...