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Slack.com slash DHQ. An inch of snow fell on Washington, DC, yesterday in the entire government

shutdown. Scientists have since been working around the clock to see if they can get the

phenomenon to repeat itself. The scientists have calculated that each inch of snow per

day will save Americans approximately $13 billion in federal spending. And if they can

create an inch of snow per day for the entire year, American citizens may finally achieve

the founder's dream of becoming a free people. Unfortunately, if the experiment is unsuccessful,

it'll just be the same old crap. At the Pentagon, generals were just sitting down to discuss

the Iranian missile strike against American troops in Iraq when the inch of snow started

falling, whereupon the joint chiefs rushed outdoors and began trying to catch the snowflake

flakes on their tongues and build snowmen, before gathering by the fireside over a hot cup

of cocoa to order the sinking of the entire Iranian navy, followed by a sleigh ride and

a snowball fight. In the House of Representatives, the snowfall found Nancy Pelosi in the Democrats

meeting to discuss impeachment, which they say is an urgent matter because President Trump

has threatened the very future of constitutional governance by doing whatever the hell he was

supposed to have done, according to witnesses who heard that other witnesses may have said

yet another group of witnesses might have whispered something to Congressman Adam Schiff,

who swore it was really, really bad and why would he lie? With the fate of the Republican

...