Commander, I know that we want to fix the seals on the doors to the haunted deck,

but I just worry that if we do something wrong, all the ghosts are going to get out onto the rest of the ship.

You know, the ghosts have been kind of quiet of late, and I want to take this as an opportunity

to declare that there are no more ghosts and that there never were.

And we have a totally functional deck 13.

We can come and go and use the facilities there as we please.

It is pretty silly that, you know, on an advanced science-based exploration starship,

we all think that there's a whole deck that's just haunted with ghosts. I mean, ghosts don't exist.

What is that? We've been ignoring the ghost in the room, and to me, that is a sign of disrespect.

This ghost is clearly here.

All right. The ghost is clearly here. But I mean, it can't be right, Commander. There's no such thing as ghosts.

I see it, but I don't believe in it.

Well, look, it doesn't show up on a tricorder, but if we hold up this microphone, we get all sorts of weird noises.

Guys, let's quit avoiding this problem. Let's see if we can get rid of these damn ghosts once and for all.

I feel like maybe all these ghosts need is for someone to believe in them.

And if we all believe in the ghosts, they'll take ownership of the spiritual

space they take up and move along to space that better suits them.

Oh, great. Commander Hayes to the crew of the Sisyphus. If there was any doubts, the ghosts on

deck 13 are real. Believe in them. Believe in them. Commander Hayes out. They're still here.

Oh,

Oh,

likes! Space. Space, the final frontier.

...