was up you guys and welcome back to another episode of your favorite auntie's pie case. Oh, I got my girls with me. I got my friends here. Well, you know, she's a new friend to the show. I'm probably a best friend to y'all. Let me start talking. Let me pass it over to Nia.

She gonna let Shonda who's on. It was up everybody. I'm actually gonna let her introduce herself. I am so delighted that we have trend on our friend trend. Y'all have seen her all of the social media everywhere. She's doing all the things. So we are so excited to have her on so trend. Introduce yourself to the audience. Tell us a little bit about yourself. Hey guys, so I'm Trinity Mitchell. I like to go by your friend, Trin. I feel assigned to this area of friendship and relationship. And I really enjoy teaching. I enjoy teaching people how to love other people better. My mantra is the better we treat people, the better we love people, the better our lives will be. And so I'm excited to fulfill that assignment, especially here with the aunties. The cult aunties, because I'm on auntie too. I feel really great. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you guys so much for having me. I'm really excited to be here. We're excited to have you. I really, I was really looking forward to this because I wanna talk about friendships. We've only, we talk about friendships on a show, of course, because we're friends, but we've only had that conversation between us. So now we have to have a whole different perspective. And I love the things that you talk about on social media, because I feel like nobody else is talking about those things. So I feel like we should jump into friendships first. And I'm a big word person. So I would love to know how do you define a friend? I feel like a friend is a chosen family member. Honestly, I was a church girl. So a friend sticks closer than a brother. You know what I mean? Yes, and so I feel like when it comes to friendship, it's more than just alignment, but it's an assignment. And the thing that most people don't understand about friendship that is actually a service, that we provide to the people that we refer to as friend. And that service looks like support, that service looks like showing up, that service looks like being committed, that service looks like they know that they are valued by you. And I feel like a lot of us fall short of the word frame because we really do not understand that it actually is a service. And so when I say it's, you stick in closer than a brother in terms of scripture, it means that you are really committed to the assignment that you have in that person's life. I love that. I love that. I don't want to dominate the conversation. Go ahead, Sham. No, I think that is a great definition for friendship because I feel like we always make these excuses. So like when different things happen with our family members, people always fall back on that's your mother, that's your father, that's your sister, as if that's the time that makes you have to stick with them. But friendships, we think that when it's family is just forever. And yes, but also know, like there are some people whose friends are their actual family. Absolutely. So, to break that down in the way that you did, that was incredibly accurate. Because being somebody's friend, that is a real choice. And you are signing up, depending upon who you are, it can be somewhat of a covenant. It can be somewhat, you know, like a really big deal to be someone's friend because you are signing up to do life with them, depending upon what type of friendship you want to have with them. Because those people are just acquaintances. Absolutely. That's what I mean by a friend six, close to the brother. So you tell me that if you're my friend, I'll probably go and up calling you before I call my sister properly. And I think a lot of people don't even realize I understand the, the, what would I say, the responsibility of that. You understand what I'm saying? And that's why we shouldn't have a lot of friends because you can't be committed to a whole lot of people like this. That's right. That's right. Along those lines, I know I saw something on social media that was talking about how like in adult friendships, you have to be willing to be inconvenienced because as we go into adults, so much of life takes over. It's not as easy as when we were younger where it's like, oh, I have all the time in the world or, you know, we in school, so I see you every day at school. I don't have to put any extra effort in. That's I'm going to be every day so I get to see you and you know, be an inconvenience to having to go to the birthday party or you know, having to show up to the graduation or you know, they got they going through something but you got a husband and kids and you got responsibilities and trying to be there and stretch but also be there for yourself like adult friendships require a lot. So I would love to know like what is your wisdom as it relates to navigating

friendships as a lot. So I would love to know like, what is your wisdom as it relates to navigating friendships as an adult? Because it's not easy when you have other responsibilities. It's not easy, but it should come with ease when you do like with people that you actually like. I think it comes down to one thing. We all make time for what we want to make time for. We all make time for who we want to make time for. Right. And being inconvenience should be an honor when it's your friend. I feel like I say this a lot, but a lot I feel like honestly I do feel like a lot of people are lonely because we're lazy. You cannot expect people to show up for you, to love you, to value you, to be

appreciative of you. if you don't show that, if you don't serve that. You understand what I'm saying? In order to be a recipient of this, you have got to start being a donor of it. You have got to give it. You understand what I'm saying? So like last week we had to reschedule through our pie because I forgot about my friends event, right? This is a friend that I know is rolling,

she's rolling. to give it. You understand what I'm saying? And so like last week we had to reschedule our pie because I forgot about my friends event, right?

This is a friend that I know is rolling,

she's writing for me.

You understand what I'm saying?

And so if I had to reschedule the things

and I couldn't have been there,

it would have been one thing.

But I was like, no, I really, I need to be there.

I need to get my my mom up here to get the baby. I need to schedule things out so that I can be there because I prioritize my friend in the same way that she prioritizes me. It's not you it's hard to see it as a I get I get it in terms of inconvenience, but it's really hard to see it as an inconvenience when you have people who willingly go out of their way for you. You know what I mean? And so, no, it will never be easy, right? Because you got to think about, I got to call the babysitter.

Oh, I got to- who willingly go out of their way for you. You know what I mean? And so, no, it will never be easy, right?

Because you gotta think about,

I gotta call the babysitter.

Oh, I got this responsibility.

I gotta do this. I got to do this. But if you want to do it, if you want to be in that person's life, then you're gonna make the effort. And that effort should come with ease. should come with ease.

I wasn't mad about calling my mom to help me with BJ.

I wasn't mad about having to rearrange my schedule

and do the things because it came with ease

because I love my friend and I want to show up for her. And so I think the greater question we have to ask is that we're not willing to make the effort always really that person's friend. Mm. That's a good question. Yeah. Yeah.

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