I'm so happy about this right now.

I'm so giddy and I'm trying to like,

contain it, but I'm really excited.

I am too.

We are so honored.

We have such a special guest one that we, I mean, we've been waiting on this day for a while. So we are so excited to introduce you all or maybe you want to introduce yourself. I'm so excited to introduce you all. I'm so excited to introduce you all. that we I mean we've been waiting on this day for a while so we are so excited to introduce you

all or maybe remind some of you all you may have seen her before. Love, McPherson, a relationship expert and I'm going to let her tell her, tell a little bit more about herself to you all. First of all, I want to say that Auntie Love is happy to be in the space with her musical clothes. Okay? I'm not answering. Right. And yes, I am a married to a certified married to a family counselor. And you know what I always say is I was born for this because this is not a stage name. This is my name. Love. My mother named me Love because of her love for my dad. And I was a six of eight children. Now let me tell you all something. So if you could still love somebody after six kids you really were in love right. And so yes I am a mother of two beautiful daughters, a mother in law of a son that is my son-in-law who is my favorite and a column son-a-love and a grandma actually known as a Gigi wife for 42 years to one man not 10 over here 10 over here like that is just one 42 all right no that's right so good today we are going to be diving into all things relationship and I'm so excited to get love's perspective and just get the wisdom. I already know a lot of wisdom is going to come for it, but you all know how we do. We keep it real, but we're going to drop some gems along the way. So we're going to be talking about all things, just navigating relationships, dating, healing and all of that. So as we jump in, love, give us a little bit of your background. I know you said you were born today,

but what is like the foundation of the work that you do?

The foundation is really teaching people how to love better.

And I think I'm inspired by the fact that

first of all, God is love.

And I always say that God is love.

And I watched all these big, you know, this big age. I've watched Satan try to come at the body of Christ and people in general, with trying to divert them away from love, to give them adverse experiences with love, love. When all of the Bible is based on love, when God is based on love, he's not just, he doesn't just love you, he is. So I watch trauma, try to take people and make them feel some kind of way of our love, give you experiences and people just turn around and just like, no, that ain't for me, that ain't for me. And when we turn off love, when we turn away from it, when we are feeling traumatized by the thought and it is related to uncomfortable situations and we are not allowing ourselves to heal, then that is a problem even in our relationship with God. Because we take on the same thing, we have a different type of relationship God. And it's not, it's not a healthy one. It's just as toxic as probably your last relationship. I mean, you don't know. Yeah, you can have a toxic relationship with God now. And I can actually talk about that. We've been there. We've been there. And relating them to the experiences that you experience with other people. And you think, okay, well, God must be like all these people that hurt me. You do. And you know what? You are hypersensitive to when he's going to drop you. And when you just like, okay, let me give you an example. When you are dealing with someone with who is unhealed abandonment issues, a lot of times

what you'll find is that even though you might get a really good, faithful guy or a faithful girl or something like that, they are still wondering if they're going, somebody's gonna leave them because they don't want the pain. So they are literally carrying out their relationships, almost to push you away just to still like, before I get really involved, I'm gonna do this wrong and see what happens. And so what I find is that we will, still like God is not gonna forgive me this time. No, you're not gonna forgive yourself this time, but God is going to forgive you this time. No, you're not going to forgive yourself this time,

but God is going to forgive you this time. Well, we don't believe that somebody has the capacity to continue to love us in the midst of our faults. And a lot of times, that's how that happens in our childhood. That's the area in which you best stop as burst out of often. Or it doesn't have to be perfect out of your childhood. It couldn't happen during your ex-relationships or current relationships.

However, what I find is that people will have the same projection on God as they have had and their experiences have had on them in the home, in the past, and with themselves. So good. Let me give you a practical way of how that looks. It looks like this. Instead of having relationship with God. What they what you'll find is they will have a checklist of what they need to do right in order to be in good with God in order to keep them in our favor in order to get what we want. We got this checklist and I'll use the analogy I said my daughters

We think we're working so the guy will accept us. We work. We do our works. We gonna show up at church, guys. Okay, we gonna do this, we gonna play our tab, we all of this in order to be a child of God. My kids grew up and they watched dishes. They didn't watch dishes to become a Macpherson. They watched dishes because they were Macpherson's. We need to be working because we are the children of God, not to be in the favor of the Father loves me. But if your Father could drop you and it was conditional or your mother criticized you and it was critical, if the last boyfriend has conditioned you to make you think you were not enough, then guess what happens? You will take on that not enough spirit and you will work and work and work and toil and toil and toil to be in favor with the God and say why you were yet sinners, I died for you. Come on. My goodness. I mean, we just started and we already, I mean, goodness. I mean, I knew that this was going to be great. I knew that it was. I just didn't know that you were going to come out the gate swinging because this is so good. I mean, me and what have to, when we first met, she would have to talk me off the ledge because I was, she would have to remind me like, no, God loves you or God is not tipped for tat because I was so fearful of getting things wrong and being in the China store and not wanting to knock anything over and being so careful and then I do knock something over and I'm just thinking that I've ruined this whole thing

and she's like, no, can you stop looking over your shoulder? So you're coming back and you're just saying the same thing and it's good and it already took with Mia said it but just hearing you come in again as that refreshing, it's just straight out the gate. I feel as though you're talking to me right now truly. Let me ask you something, she's hilarious.

If that came, if you came into a relationship like that with God, do you know what relationship groomed you to be in that type of relationship? What did you decide was normalized in order for you to be able to go in to a God called father, to a God called love, to a God called goodness and feel that at some point you were not going to be accepted. I have had some very interesting relationships and friendships growing up and there have often been times where I wasn't as performative as what those relationships would have wanted me to be and in that case they ended up leaving, you know, like I wasn't enough.

So there would be times when as close as Nia and I are, as close as we are when I mess up with her or I feel like I make a mistake even still, we're years in and I'm just like, well, is she gonna not be my friend anymore? But I mean, this is something that I've talked to her about. Like this is not a secret or anything like that, but I have to constantly remind myself that like, No, she, she got to stick around like this is not in.

She might be upset about something or she may feel the way, but she's going to talk to me. She's not just going to leave me and I not know what's going on. Like I do believe that if me, it was ever to not be my friend anymore, she would absolutely talk to me about it. Whether it might be even hard for her to do, she wouldn't just leave me high and dry. But there are times where it's still hard for me to take that in. Are you your friend? Do you get your stuff right? Are you friendly to you? I mean, full of grace, full of kindness, understanding, still stay with you through thick and thin, where you mess up. Do you stay with you? And that's really the question that we have to ask ourselves because the first relationship is intra-intra relationship. And if somebody has talked you out of an unconditional relationship with yourself, then that becomes a problem because we don't think we can't believe and trust that people will love us beyond what we are able to love ourselves to do. I just need you to metabolize that. Until you accept the parts of you, every part of you, either you will go into hiding, performatism, feel like the standard is perfection instead of excellence. And you know what I'm not just talking to you, I'm talking to all of you, I've shifted over and just talking to people, okay? So I want you to like, here she is, you can do a therapy session on me, I'm not gonna be- No, I'm not gonna cry going to be about the cry. I'm like, I don't have to see you. But I do want to say that I really want you to, and all the people, to understand that it's first and foremost, you doing the self-talk and the healing to dispel the lies about you. That's really good. Not enough. If that was a message that came from wherever, childhood, friendship, boyfriend, ex, school, whatever, or, if that was a message that came from anywhere, I am not enough, that is Satan coming to you to capture one of the most greatest gifts God gave you. You know what that is? The image and likeness of him. The image and likeness. The image and likeness is actually a royal term that's often used for children of royalty. He's made it the image and likeness of royalty. And when you forget that, when he can pull you away from that, then it ends up being that you will walk as mere men when you are way more than that. That's good. I'm like, well, it's a lot of fun. You know, this is really good. Because relationship with God, I love that you called that out because I don't think we always make that connection between how we are in relationships

and how our relationship with God is.

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