Adam Schiff, the chairman of the House Impeachment and other Sheree's Committee, has announced

a change of rules in the proceedings.

After Friday's hearing, at which Congresswoman Elise Stefanik gutted several of Schiff's witnesses

and challenged Schiff's rulings so that Schiff's eyes swelled up until he looked like Jim

Kerry in the clock scene from the mask.

Yeah, after that, Schiff checked his copy of Robert's Rules of Orders and found that

in technical parliamentary terms, he had been, quote, beaten up by a girl, or owned like

a bitch, unquote, and felt the committee needed a new direction to prevent that from happening

again.

Schiff announced that from now on, all hearings will be held in the tree house in his backyard

and no girls will be allowed.

In the event of Girl Bakes Brownies, said girl will be allowed to push a plate of said

brownies up through the tree house trap door and then run away before anyone catches

her coodies.

In future hearings, Schiff will wear the paper king hat he got in a popper at last years

congressional Christmas party and when he walks into the room, everyone will have to bow

down to him and say, oh, king, Schiff, you are so great and everyone loves you so much

and make kissing noises as he walks by and no laughing or making faces after he's gone

like last time.

In previous hearings, committee members were allowed to raise points of order to question

rules violations, but from now on, any Republican who raises a point of order will be called

the pooped and will have to wear a sign saying, I am a pooped for the rest of his life.

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