In political news today, Hillary Clinton now says many women won't vote for her because

they're women, many men won't vote for her because they're men, Republicans won't support Obama's

pick for the Supreme Court because Republicans are white, and she says people should really stop

being so bigoted and thinking about others in terms of the groups they're in.

Donald Trump is filing a lawsuit to make Ted Cruz stop saying negative things about him during

a political campaign. Trump also says secret papers will one day reveal the true perpetrators of

the 9-11 attacks. Anten and Scalia was smothered with a pillow by a clever murderer who then left

the pillow over Scalia's head. So no one would find the body. And George W. Bush lied to the

American people. Trump says when he told them there were WMDs in Iraq, the CIA, the NSA, the FBI,

Hillary Clinton, John Kerry and 295 other senators also lied in like a big conspiracy or something.

Bernie Sanders says some people have a lot of money and some people have only a little money,

so we should take the money away from the people with a lot and give it to the people with only a

little. And then everyone will have the same amount of money and be happy. He also says there are

too many different kinds of deodorant. At least that's what I think he said. It was hard to hear

because I was edging away from him at the time. Jeb Bush says he's still running for president.

Oh, wait, sorry, maybe he's serious. I'm not sure. All in all, in an election with the most

grave consequences in many years, it's good to see that our candidates have set aside the clownish

food fights of partisan politics and gotten down to this serious business of talking absolute

nonsensical crap. If this keeps up, it could spell the end for the United States of America,

in which case I personally am going to leave the country for Canada or Switzerland where they

enjoy continual prosperity and peace because they know they'll always be protected by the United

States of America. Hold on a second. Trigger one. I'm Andrew Clayvin and this is the Andrew Clayvin

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