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Help Me Be Me

Ep 75: WTF Happened? When Great Relationships Suddenly Turn Bad

Help Me Be Me

Cloud10

Health & Fitness

4.81.9K Ratings

🗓️ 1 April 2016

⏱️ 39 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

How good relationships turn into bad relationships, seemingly out of nowhere. Whether that’s with fights that ensue endlessly, or one partner suddenly betrays the other partner – this kind of behavior can make you feel mystified, angry, and stuck. So I want to shed a bit of light on a potential reason behind these changes – if you once had a healthy and mutually rewarding relationship, this might give you a starting place for the work that has to be done. OR at the very least enlighten you as to what happened. My other name for this episode is Family Ties. You’ll know why if you listen to this. Does any of this sound familiar? “I thought I married someone who loved me and they seem like they hate me now.” “This behavior came out of nowhere – one day she told me she didn’t love me anymore.” “I can’t believe this happened – I want to ask her, was it worth it?” These are the kinds of things I hear often from my One-On-One clients, especially when it comes to break-ups. It’s a very common experience to suddenly see your partner change into someone you don’t know, you didn’t think they’d be. It can make you feel stupid like you should have known better. It can make you feel assaulted – like you just got a hard slap for no reason whatsoever. It can make you feel you can’t tell up from down and the world is not what you thought it was. There’s a reason why this is happening, just like there’s a solution – if you want one. Before I get started I want to tell you that this is much more abbreviated than it should be, because this is such an intricate and amazing topic. If you’re interested in learning more about it I will post a link to my reading material on my website in the blog version. It’s worth a read – called Intimate Partners by Maggie Scarf. A blow your mind amazing book. There are three parts: the what why and how – the tools. Help Me Be Me takes hundreds of hours to create. If you get anything out of this show or it brings value to your life, please consider a monthly donation – even something as small as a cup of coffee helps immensely. To donate visit HelpMeBeMe.com or Patreon.com/SarahMayB Thanks! If you like what you hear, check out my other podcast called Love is like a plant with Ellen Huerta of Mend! xo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hi peeps, Help Me Be Me is underfunded and needs your help. If you enjoy listening to this or it helps you at all,

0:08.0

please visit Help Me Be Me.com and click donate or visit me on Patreon. Thanks. Hi friends it's Sarah May and this is an episode I'm calling Family Ties and you'll

0:32.1

understand why but it's about when good relationships suddenly go bad.

0:37.0

So, how do good relationships suddenly turn into bad ones, seemingly out of nowhere.

0:43.7

Whether that's with fights that ensue endlessly, or one partner suddenly betrays the other partner,

0:49.3

this kind of behavior can make you feel mystified, angry, and stuck.

0:53.8

So I want to shed a bit of light on the potential reason behind these shifts, and if you

0:59.4

had a once healthy and mutually rewarding relationship, this might give you a bit of a starting place

1:06.6

for the work that has to be done.

1:10.0

Or at the very least, it will enlighten you as to what has happened.

1:14.7

So does any of this sound like you?

1:17.0

I thought I married somebody who loved me and now they seem to hate me.

1:21.3

Or this behavior came out of nowhere. One day she told me she didn't love me. Or this behavior came out of nowhere. One day she told me she didn't love me anymore.

1:25.5

Or I can't believe this happened. I want to ask him, is she worth it?

1:33.0

These are the types of things that I hear in my one-on-one sessions,

1:38.0

and it's a common experience to suddenly see your partner change

1:42.0

into somebody you don't know or you didn't think they'd be.

1:46.0

It can make you feel stupid like you should have known better.

1:49.0

It can make you feel assaulted like you just got a hard slap for no reason whatsoever.

1:53.0

It can make you feel like you can't do anything to stop the problem.

2:00.0

You can't tell up from down and the whole world is not what you thought it was.

2:03.6

Well there's a reason why this is happening just like there's a solution

...

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