You're listening to this naked mind with Annie Grace. Welcome Barbara to where are they now and thank you so much for joining me. We are we are starting this. Your story has inspired so many and I absolutely loved to listening to it. I would love to pull out a couple pieces from that because I think there are so many people who feel the way that you felt in your podcast you mentioned being a gray area drinker and calling wine your bubble wrap which I found really really interesting and it wasn't really part of your culture growing up right like you said it wasn't that college culture, it wasn't, and you made the point that like it wasn't in the family, it wasn't the college culture, it can happen to anyone, right? Alcohol and addictive substance.

Yeah, and there was so many neat parts of your story.

I love when your niece, you mentioned your niece was drinking grape juice and taking a break and you had

had lots of sparks of curiosity it sounded like

and then you went to the bookstore.

Yeah, and you found...

There it was speaking to me.

Yeah, yeah, you found this naked mind.

So interesting, we just briefly chatted before

and that divine timing, I believe,

is something that is so, so powerful and it was life changing for you.

I absolutely love you mentioned it's life changing when we're healthy something can come to life it's magic it's where meaning comes into life where you're able to

optimize your conscious energy just amazing you're like I wasn't blackout drunk and I was functioning fine. You said so many beautiful things and you tell people about it. You're out there spreading the message and your tidbit at the end which I'm going to be circling back to as well but was remember who you were she is still there you are still in there and will come to life give it a try because it is still in there waiting for you which was absolutely beautiful is there anything else you want to add about your story?

I mean looking back now it's been four and a half years and stopped and I think I was thinking about it since I knew this interview was coming

over the past what a couple of weeks or ten days and I thought what would be the main

the core message that I you know that comes up and repeats itself in my mind and that's probably the main gain that I feel like I'm centered again. You know, I'm in there. There's before I felt like I was being like

amplified with the wine. I mean it was wonderful, right 20 minutes you get thrown out of your center and you feel larger than

yourself and then you get amplified back to the bottom equal part to the bottom part and it was so much work to

crawl back to some form of center and it would take all day almost you know you you go through your day you do your exercise your work and it's like crawling back to sense itself and then the beer and the two three three glasses of wine again or, you know, and that humming point of being checked out until you go to sleep, falling asleep easily. That has changed. I'm always awake, but then I sleep so much better, but there is no more deviation from that center.

You know, I feel like even if I do deviate

as in being upset about something,

I feel like I have myself, I call it,

...