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Your Anxiety Toolkit - Anxiety & OCD Strategies for Everyday

Ep. 68: How to do HARD THINGS!

Your Anxiety Toolkit - Anxiety & OCD Strategies for Everyday

Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT | Anxiety & OCD Specialist

Self-improvement, Education, Anxietymindfulnessmeditation, Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.9802 Ratings

🗓️ 27 September 2018

⏱️ 19 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

How To Do HARD THINGS...It's A Beautiful Day For It!!

How To Do Hard Things Exposure & Response Prevention ERP Cognitive Behavioral Therapy CBT Obsessive Compulsive Disorder OCD Anxiety Fear Depression Your Anxiety Toolkit Kimberley QuinlanWelcome back to another Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast episode!  This week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is all about How to do Hard Things. I know I say “Its a beautiful day to do hard things” all the time, and sometimes people message me or email and ask me, “How do I do hard things?”  Even friends and loved ones might call to ask, “Can you teach me how to do hard things?”  These hard things might be doing Exposure & Response Prevention (doing something that scares you), taking a test, going to a doctor visit, traveling long distances, feeling intense feelings such as sadness or grief, delivering a speech, experiencing pain or any other event that scares the pants off you.  :) A little note on this before we move on; Doing a Hard Thing is doing the thing that scares YOU, even if it doesn’t scare others.  If it is hard for you, it is hard.  Try not to judge yourself or compare yourself to what is hard for you vs. others. After talking with a dear, loved one this week about an upcoming “hard thing” they were preparing to do, I decided to write them a letter.  My hope was they could read it as they prepared to stare their hard thing in the face (take that hard thing!).  After sending it, I wondered if maybe you needed a similar letter. So, here we go.  Here is the letter I sent my friend.  I hope you find it helpful in understanding how to do hard things.   "Hi my love,  Here are the most important things to remember when dealing with fear, dread, and panic. Just because your brain is telling you there is "danger,” doesn't make it true or real or correct. Our brain misfires (and make mistakes) ALL the time and it is our job to help direct it back to more reasonable reactions. If we react with resistance, we keep training it to misfire. Our job is to just allow the anxiety, without reacting to it. We gently allow it to be present and allow it to rise and fall on its own. With this practice, we not only re-train our brain, but we learn that beyond this moment of discomfort is freedom. Just a few minutes beyond this discomfort is our opportunity to do whatever the fuck we want with our lives. Fear doesn't get to make our decisions. Our values and hopes and dreams do. You are strong, but you don't have to be stronger than fear. It's not a fight, so don't fight it. Slow everything down and gently say to it, "its ok, fear. I am just going to allow you to be here while I do the thing I love to do. You don't get to control me. Love, Kimberley"   Also, CBT School is also excited to share that our lovely friend Stuart Ralph is offering The OCD Summit, an online summit specifically for OCD therapists.  The OCD Summit will be a 6-week webinar series where Stuart Ralph, host of The OCD Stories podcast, will interview some incredible scientists and clinicians in the OCD field, with you the therapist as the audience.   Kimberley is honored to be selected to be one of the panelists for this exciting event.  Registration will include 6 topics curated for your continued development as an OCD therapist, where you can ask questions and network with other therapists in the private FB group community.  Click here to join. Lastly, OCD Awareness Week is coming up: October 7-13!  OCD SoCal will celebration OCD Awareness Week on October 7 from 1:00 pm-5:00 pm in Los Angeles, Orange County, and San Diego.  Go to IOCDF.org or search your local area for events.

Transcript

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0:00.0

This is Your Anxiety Toolkit, episode number 68.

0:09.5

Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit.

0:12.1

I'm your host, Kimberly Quinlan.

0:14.3

This podcast is fueled by three main goals.

0:17.6

The first goal is to provide you with some extra tools to help you manage your anxiety.

0:22.8

Second goal, to inspire you. Anxiety doesn't get to decide how you live your life. And number three,

0:29.9

and I leave the best for last, is to provide you with one big, fat virtual hug. Because experiencing

0:36.9

anxiety ain't easy. If that sounds good to you, let's go.

0:45.5

Well, hello and welcome back to another episode of your anxiety toolkit. I'm so thrilled to have you

0:53.8

guys here with me. If anyone here is new

0:57.6

as a new member of the CBT school community, I welcome you. I am guessing we have a few new people

1:05.2

here today, given that we had such an amazing show for ERP School, and I know everyone from ERP

1:13.1

school has been sent over to the podcast.

1:16.0

So welcome if you're new, and if you're not, I am so grateful for you and for coming

1:22.9

back and spending some time with me.

1:24.7

Well, today, I'm actually going to talk with you about something that

1:30.4

I'm really actually quite passionate about. This is going to be an episode which is probably the most

1:36.3

in line with my goal for CBT school and all the work that I'm doing. And what that is, is this episode is called How to Do Hard

1:46.9

Things. And so I think about it often of like, what can I do? How can I serve my community? How can I make a

1:53.7

change? And I think the truth is I really feel like the place that I can make a change is to help people

2:00.3

see that they can do hard things.

2:03.9

I think we're led so often by a massive multi-million dollar marketing industry that keeps

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