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Slack.com slash DHQ. The Iowa caucuses have at last arrived and many of you are wondering,

what is a caucus? And how does it work? The word caucus comes from the ancient Greek word

cowcus, meaning together together in a place that will one day be called Iowa to do whatever

is necessary to preserve your farm subsidies. Republican caucuses and Democrat caucuses

are each run somewhat differently. In Republican caucuses, you see the full majesty of American

democracy on display. Ordinary people come from their farms, shops and houses and brave

the wind and weather to congregate in school auditoriums, meeting halls and churches where

they will exercise their right to select the worst person imaginable to destroy the

Republic forever. In Democratic caucuses, the worst person imaginable is also selected,

but the process is somewhat different. Here, the citizens gather in groups according to

whom they support. Citizens who favor Hillary Clinton, for instance, will all stand in

one section of the room, where they will form a circle and bring dead Democrats back

to life so that they can vote repeatedly in the general election. The reanimated Democrat

corpses will then spread through the countryside, handing out free Christmas turkeys to living

voters in exchange for their immortal souls. Those Democrats who favor Bernie Sanders

will gather into what are technically called rampaging mobs and storm the homes of those

more successful than themselves in order to loot their property and distribute it among

...