Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un will be holding peace talks in Vietnam, or maybe that's an

acid flashback I'm having.

Now, I don't remember every using acid, so I guess it's really happening.

The eccentric president of the United States and the utterly insane Supreme Leader of North

Korea will get together to discuss such issues as whose red button is bigger, where you

can get a really good haircut, and whether it's better to call out journalists for bias

or simply have them executed on mass.

According to sources in the American camp, the president plans to approach Kim with

a proposal in which North Korea gives up its nuclear program, and in return, Trump

refrains from bouncing Kim down the streets of Hanoi like a loony foride basketball.

According to North Korean sources, Kim is planning to offer a counter-proposal in which

he becomes Supreme Leader of everything that ever was or ever will be, and in return,

Trump gets to worship him by dancing in circles singing, there is no un, like Kim Jong-un.

After that, both leaders plan to punch each other in the face and then roll around on

the floor, clawing and scratching at each other, while pieces of clothing fly in all directions

and words like pow, and bam, appear in the air above them.

Americans say they have high hopes that the Kim Trump summit in Hanoi will result in

similar diplomatic gains to their first summit in Singapore last year, during which Kim

promised to begin to think about considering reflecting on the possibility of one day wondering

if perhaps he would be completely unwilling to dismantle his nuclear program, and Donald

Trump then declared victory in order to triumph and pray through Washington, parade through

Washington DC to celebrate peace in our time.

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