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Slack.com slash DHQ. The government remains partially shut down, as you can probably

tell by the fact that you're not being held in contempt by people who do nothing in return

for seizing a portion of your income. And in this terrible crisis, President Trump and

the Democrats continue to try to reopen the government, for some reason, by negotiating

a compromise on the issue of border security. To begin with, the president requested $5

billion, which had government prices would pay for the phone call to the guy who makes

the canvas bags that would hold enough cement to build a three-inch high section of wall

stretching from Arizona to another part of Arizona approximately five feet away. In response,

the Democrats offered to lavish welfare on anyone who happened to wander into America from

some crap hole country or other, unless or until they murdered an innocent bystander,

whereupon they would be barred from receiving medical insurance unless they felt particularly

under the weather. Trying to demonstrate his flexibility, President Trump then offered

to naturalize all 300 farm workers on Nancy Pelosi's Napa Valley estate in return for $4

billion, or enough money to ask directions to Rupert's hardware store in El Paso, where

Rupert is offered to build four miles of the dam wall himself if it would prevent Mexican

drug dealers from dumping bodies in his wife's garden every other night. In response, the

Democrats have offered to lower the sentence for rape to three months probation in order

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