Welcome to Curious with Josh Pax, start the show.

Boom, shock of freaking Laka. Welcome back to the Curious podcast. I'm your host Josh Pax and your name is listener and that's what you do.

You listen. What a fucking week. Guys, got some big news. I'm happy.

I know. It's like breaking news. What are we sure we're listening to the right podcast? That's right, y'all. I'm happy.

And I don't know if it's because I have a tan and thus my natural sort of beautiful, the melanin in my skin is making me feel a little

little trimmer, a little more vibrant sort of like it's it's kind of like a natural foundation.

It's like a more in man makeup and I'm fine with that. So you're judgmental. Anyway guys, I'm feeling happy man. It took me a long time.

Had a bit of a breakthrough with the old therapist. I've only been going for 20 years so it's good to know I'm making progress.

But no, I was talking to him and I had had a moment over the last couple of months where I was like considering taking antidepressants and I just, you know, the reality is my life is so good.

And I'm overpaid and I've been incredibly lucky in my life to get to do all the things that I get to do. And yet it seemed as though I just couldn't get out of my own head.

And I couldn't get out of my own way. And that while logically and like all evidence led to like my life is full and wonderful and I'm lucky.

And yet it just seemed like I was racked with discomfort and indecision and just that neuroses that shitty committee as they call it radio K fuck as my friends in the 12 step talk about where you know you just wake up and your head is telling you all the reasons why you're not enough.

And I'm sure none of you can identify with such a feeling. But you know, I went to the shrink and I talked about this and I just said you know,

throughout my whole life, the idea of stopping to enjoy what was going on felt like I was being irresponsible that because you know whatever who cares.

I'd had like a bit of a challenging childhood with some financial insecurity insecurity and what have you that now that I like make a little bit of dough and life's okay.

That it's incumbent on me to fortify myself like don't stop the well will run dry so just work work work work work stock.

You know build up the bomb shelter because something's coming.

You know, so while you're all out dancing and eating barbecue and enjoying your life, you're the idiots because the storm is coming and I'm going to have all the water.

That's right. I have so many supplies in my sick storm shelter. I'm going to get my storm shelter sponsored by Nike.

Fucking and everyone's going to get a free pair of air max when they come into my storm shelter, but you're not invited because it only holds me and my family and friends.

So sorry. But that's really, you know, it was like I couldn't allow myself to just like sit and enjoy because there was just this idea that like,

a storm was a comment and the reality is is that you know life is cyclical and as sure as the great times are coming, challenging times are coming as well.

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