Kill a little time for the child within, you don't be afraid to be young and free

Under the locks and throw away the keys and take coffee shoes and sex and run you

I'm Jesse Thorn, America's radio sweetheart, and I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective

And this is Jordan, Jesse, GO!

This week I prepare for my breakout season in Jordan Morris, boy detective visits Applebees for the very first time. Let's go!

It's Jordan, Jesse, GO! I'm Jesse Thorn, America's radio sweetheart.

I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective.

Jordan, do you have any idea right now? Look at me in the eyes, do you know what we're about to enter?

Well, judging by my increased desire to mate, I'm going to guess the age of Aquarius.

No, Jordan, it's not the age of Aquarius, it's my age 27 season.

Wow, your 27th summer?

This is going into? No, it's specifically it's my age 27 season. It's what I'm most likely to have a breakout year.

Oh yeah? Yeah, absolutely, a lot of that's some sort of baseball thing.

This is a baseball thing, you're familiar with the work of Saber Matrition Bill James, right?

Boy, aren't I? Yeah, exactly. He was my favorite Mongol horde leader.

I think you're confusing one of the different Bill James.

Oh, okay. That's Bill James the Elder.

Oh, right.

No, here's what it is, Jordan. I just turned 27 years old, Jordan.

Baseball players? Well, we'll talk about it.

Baseball players, and in my estimation, men in general, enter their peak year when they're 27 years old.

Okay. I'm going to hit.

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