We here at Stoos America always happy to bring you the latest breaking news with the science,

you know, that movable and unchanging thing that's constantly moving and changing anyway.

Well a new report from Life Science says the earliest known form of life on Mars probably

destroyed itself through climate change.

Probably.

That's the word you don't hear a lot in science.

And yes, I can hear everybody on the left salivating over the story wanting to smash the

share button.

I get it, but it's important to understand that we haven't even proven that life ever

existed on Mars.

This is like a, I mean, we theorized it, but we haven't ever proven it.

And it's important to mention that the life mentioned in the article is microbial.

This is like not little green men or gray men, whichever is less racist.

It's also important to mention that the greenhouse effect emitted by these microbes was caused

in theory by the planet's distance from the sun and not the amount of microbial hair

spray used in the space 1980s, which was extensive, I will say.

The real inside scooped up.

Life on Mars wasn't destroyed for any of these reasons.

It was destroyed because they evolved into a democratic governmental administration who

made the decision to erect a giant mirror and direct the sunlight away from the planet

and ended up frying themselves in the process.

I'm pretty sure you have to be a real idiot to think that that plan would work in any

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