Ep. 589 – How to Have a Happy Relationship with Kimberly Brown
Mindrolling with Raghu Markus
Be Here Now Network
4.7 • 543 Ratings
🗓️ 11 April 2025
⏱️ 58 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Author and meditation teacher Kimberly Brown explains how we can transform our relationships through Buddhist practices and principles.
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This time on Mindrolling, Raghu and Kimberly discuss:
- How Kimberly was led to the dharma after experiencing panic attacks
- Kimberly’s journey leaving therapy practice and delving deeper into mindfulness
- How relationships can become stale and predictable when we solidify our partner
- Opening up to who our partner is in the moment rather than our idea of them
- The difference between love and a yearning to possess or cling
- Love as a deep intimacy with all things
- Accepting rupture and miscommunication as a normal part of relationships
- Being able to repair after a conflict arises within a relationship
- Approaching all things with grace and openness
- Loving-kindness and looking at the intention behind all of our actions
- Not skipping over the relational to get to the ultimate
Grab your copy of Kimberly’s book, Happy Relationships, to learn more.
"To solidify and harden another person and another person's reactions and voice, there's no more freshness and the relationship can get very stale and predictable. That's oftentimes when resentment comes up. Part of not knowing is being able to open to what's really there, who the person really is right in this moment." – Kimberly Brown
About Kimberly Brown:
Kimberly Brown is a popular Buddhist meditation teacher and Certified Mindfulness Instructor and since 2011 she has led thousands of classes, retreats, and workshops with individuals and groups merging self-compassion, emotional resilience, mindfulness, and Buddhism. As a leading voice in the contemporary meditation community, she teaches public classes regularly at the Rubin Museum, Mindful Astoria, Shantideva Meditation Center, and All Souls Church. She works in private practice both one-on-one and with companies and non-profit groups. She is a faculty member and Senior Instructor in The Interdependence Project’s esteemed Mindfulness Teacher Training program. She is an accredited teacher and member of the Mindful Directory and the International Mindfulness Teachers Association. She balances her two decades of traditional Buddhist training and study with Western therapeutic modalities. Her background includes psychoanalytic training at Washington Square Institute, a master’s degree from City College of New York, and undergraduate study at Hunter College. She has extensive formal meditation retreat experience at Insight Meditation Society, Palypung Thubten Choling, and the Garrison Institute, and has received in-depth teachings from meditation masters Ponlop Rinpoche, Lama Norlha Rinpoche, Lama Zopa Rinpoche, Sharon Salzberg, and Venerable Pannavati.
Keep up with Kimberly on her website.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi, everyone, mind rolling, and I'm back, Ragu, and I have the pleasure today to have a chat with Kimberly Brown. |
| 0:25.4 | And Kimberly has written a book around happy relationships, which has lots of great, great advice, |
| 0:33.8 | and insightful points that might help everyone, because we've all got relationship issues |
| 0:44.7 | one way or the other, even however subtle they may be. |
| 0:51.3 | And I, you know, I'd like to hear how you even came into any of this related. |
| 0:58.7 | Of course, I know Buddhism is your practice, I believe. |
| 1:04.5 | And I want to, we are doing, let me tell you, this interest didn't mean, I had interest here, shall we say, and when I saw the book, because we are doing a course, an online course, actually the first time we're announcing it, I don't, whatever this comes out. But it's around, it's called intimacy with all |
| 1:32.2 | things, cultivating conscious relationships in daily life. So I thought, wow, okay, this is |
| 1:40.8 | apropos, and we can kind of look through that lens. This is a, so a quote, |
| 1:47.2 | to be enlightened is to be intimate with all things from dogen, Zenji. |
| 1:53.1 | You know, a great, great dogen, quote. |
| 1:56.7 | So, yeah, I just wanted to sort of, you know, we'll surround ourselves within that intimacy going forward and maybe through the lens of some of the things you discuss in the book, we'll be able to reference that. I think it'll be cool. |
| 2:14.6 | But how did you, you know, what happened to even let you know, wow, there is a place |
| 2:21.8 | where I always call it, where one could be happy because as a teenager, I was really unhappy, |
| 2:28.9 | and that was always on my mind until I saw the potential one day was through Mayor Baba. |
| 2:39.4 | I don't know if you know who that's saying. |
| 2:41.0 | Yeah, you do in India. |
| 2:43.2 | And there was that beautiful picture of him smiling and going, don't worry, be happy. |
| 2:49.6 | You know that Bobby McFerrin took it up, I guess, that great song. |
| 2:54.5 | So how did you get to the point where you realize, well, maybe there is another plane of consciousness? |
| 3:04.2 | Yeah, you know, it took me a little longer. |
| 3:06.5 | I was, I was, I had a really chaotic childhood and a lot of what we now call trauma, but I was really struggling as a young adult. And I was very lucky to find a really compassionate therapist, and she really helped me. |
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