EP 578: 3 Lies You Tell Yourself When You're Dating Someone with Avoidant Attachment Style

Let’s Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice

Dr. Morgan Anderson

Mental Health, Relationships, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Education

4.6 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 10 September 2025

⏱️ 49 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Dating someone with an avoidant attachment style can leave you second-guessing yourself, waiting for scraps of connection, and telling yourself stories that keep you in pain. I’ve been there, and I know how easy it is to cling to beliefs that feel comforting in the moment but ultimately keep you stuck. In this episode, I’m breaking down the three most common lies you tell yourself in this dynamic—and the truth that will set you free.

✨ Inside the episode, you’ll discover:

Why the belief “If I’m patient enough, they’ll eventually love me the way I need” keeps you settling for crumbs instead of receiving real intimacy
How internalizing their distance as “something is wrong with me” reinforces old childhood wounds
The painful trap of “If I just love them enough, I can fix them”—and what actually heals relationship patterns at the root

If this feels familiar, I want you to know you are not broken, and it’s never too late to rewire your attachment style. You are so worthy of a love that is safe, secure, and consistent.

✨ P.S. — Did you know I have a private podcast, Secure.Soft.Magnetic? It’s exclusive content you won’t hear anywhere else—bite-sized episodes with the exact tools and mindset shifts to help you embody secure attachment and show up with confidence in dating and relationships.

Click Here to Grab the Secure.Soft.Magnetic Private Podcast

And if you’re ready to take this work even deeper, I’d love to personally invite you to apply to the Empowered.Secure.Loved Program. This is where I walk you step by step through the process of healing attachment wounds so you can finally create the healthy love you deserve.

👉 Click Here to Apply the Empowered.Secure.Loved Program

🔗 Additional Episode Links:

Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz → https://drmorgancoaching.com/quiz
Follow me on IG → @drmorgancoaching

Grab my book: Grab my best selling book Love Magnet

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Welcome to the Let's Get Vulnerable podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Morgan Anderson, psychologist, relationship coach, attachment theory expert, creator of the ESL relationship method, author of Love Magnet and Athletic Wear Connoisseur. My mission is to help you raise yourself worth, have great relationships, and step confidently into the next level of your life.
0:22.3	Each week, two episodes will air featuring expert advice, live coaching, and tips, showing you
0:28.4	exactly how to improve your life and attract a healthy relationship. You deserve to feel empowered,
0:34.8	secure, and love. Buckle up and Let's Get Vulnerable. Welcome to the Let's Get
0:43.4	Vulnerable podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Morgan, and today's episode is for any of you who have
0:51.0	found yourselves in an insecurely attached relationship dynamic, particularly if you
0:57.6	have found yourself dating someone with avoidant attachment style. And we're going to get into
1:03.4	the lies that you tell yourself that maintain that relationship. We've all been there
1:10.4	where we know, okay, this is not how I should feel
1:14.4	in a relationship. I know that I shouldn't be waiting by my phone or saying, you know, making
1:21.0	excuses for the other person. Oh, it's just going to take them time. You know that you should be moving on. You shouldn't be giving that person another chance. You shouldn't be putting more time in. But you stay in the relationship. Why is that? We're going to talk about the lies that maintain that dynamic. And also some of the roots of those lies, right? Because it didn't just come out of nowhere,
1:47.5	the false relationship beliefs that we have, the unhelpful beliefs that work to maintain
1:53.4	insecure attachment styles, those are rooted in childhood trauma. So we'll talk about that. This will be a helpful episode,
2:03.8	whether you are someone with avoided attachment or anxious attachment or disorganized or you're
2:12.9	on that path of working towards secure attachment. I know this will be helpful to you. Every episode I do
2:20.4	on this show is to give you real tangible things that you can take and apply to your life
2:29.2	that help you become more securely attached. After getting married and being in this place now where
2:36.6	I have a really incredible relationship that I've worked really hard on, I just feel this sense
2:46.7	of more and more purpose and dedication to helping you. I had one of my clients asked me,
2:54.1	like, how are you feeling after the wedding? And is it hard to come back to work?
2:57.8	They work, in quotes, because it doesn't really feel like work to me. But the reality is,
3:02.5	it was not hard for me to come back because I'm so motivated. I am more motivated than ever to help
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Dr. Morgan Anderson, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Dr. Morgan Anderson and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.