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In any case, Trump responded with a blistering, all-caps tweet in which he said quote, and

I'm not making this quote up. In fact, I probably couldn't make this quote up. Never, ever

threaten the United States again or you will suffer consequences, the likes of which

few throughout history have ever suffered before.

Really from the all-caps tweet, Iranians began a program to develop their own caps lock.

An intelligence surveillance satellites captured pictures of the regime's preliminary keyboard

tests, during which they successfully managed to get a quick brown fox to jump over a lazy

yellow dog. Later, however, the regime launched a series of exclamation points that crashed

harmlessly into the Persian Gulf, leading President Trump to brag that his exclamation

marks were bigger and more powerful and actually worked by lending a frightening added emphasis

to his Twitter threats. Nonetheless, observers are concerned that Twitter war between the

two nations might continue to escalate, especially after it was revealed that former President

Obama, or Bahama, whatever the hell his name is, it's hard to remember now that his legacy

is imploded like a light bulb smashed into the pavement. But in any case, it was revealed

that the former president secretly delivered an entire case of capital letters to Iran,

which is just one more of the many reasons where glad President Banana is gone, all caps,

...